Last night I was speaking with a friend of mine on the subject of forgiveness and letting go of those awful thoughts that plague us when we live in unforgiveness. This is a particular area of my life that I really need to work on. Christianity says that if you don’t forgive your enemy, God will not forgive you. Pretty scary to be on the wrong side of God, in my opinion. I also know, from years of experience, that holding a grudge against someone who has hurt you actually hurts you more than it hurts them. My mother has been attending meetings of the group Alcoholics Anonymous for years and they have a saying about that kind of thing. They say that it’s like “letting someone live rent free in your head”.
So, to that end, I have decided that I want to be free from all the negative energy that I’ve been swimming around in for the past several years. Actually, about a month ago I started praying and telling God that I want to forgive the people who have hurt me. To be honest, I really didn’t mean it at the time, but I figured I would sort of “fake it till I made it” thinking that if I kept on praying and telling God that I forgive them that eventually I would feel it in my heart.
My friend reminded me last night to not give power to these people by sitting and stewing in my negative feelings for them after I have already decided to forgive them. Oh, let me tell you, I can make a good “I hate you” stew. She also reminded me that whatever you send out, spiritually speaking, always comes back to you. She gave me a little spell to use to help me visualize forgiving. Here’s what she told me to do:
Write the person’s name on a piece of paper. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I did mine last night with my daughter’s crayon and a sheet of notebook paper. I wrote the person’s name on the piece of paper while focusing on all the bad things this person has done and how much I hate, dislike and generally hope that this person would play in traffic. I put it all that negative energy into the writing of this person’s name on the paper, effectively transferring the energy from myself to the wax of the crayon on the paper and the paper itself. Then, I carried it over to the sink, held it over the sink and focused on forgiving this person, being thankful for the lessons I’ve learned because of this person and letting this person go out of my life and my heart. Accordingly, this is what I said, “I forgive you (insert name). I thank you (insert name) for the lessons you taught me. (insert name) I now let you go out of my life. Go your own way and be blessed in every way.” Then, I set fire to the paper and let it burn completely away while imagining that any hate, grudges, unforgiveness and anything negative I felt towards this person was burning away with the paper and wax of the writing. I may have to do this several more times. I don’t know yet, but I do know that I today I am still thinking about this person negatively, so every time those kinds of thoughts enter my head, I catch them, so to speak, in their tracks. This is according to what the Scripture says about “taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”. I mentally take the negative thought captive and pray to myself this prayer: “In Jesus’ name I reject this thought.” then I mentally push it away while imagining that I am sweeping a dirty floor. I then pray this: “Blessed Holy Spirit please replace that thought with your thoughts. Please fill my mind with Yourself so that I may think Your thoughts after You. I ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
As you probably can imagine, I’ve done that quite a bit today so far. I started out the day by praying the Warfare Prayer, which you can find here. I started using that prayer daily back in 1991 and did it daily for about 5 years. Unexpected things happened: i.e. life upheaval and I stopped doing it. Then I just got lazy and only did it every once in a while. That’s another thing I have to work on: not being spiritually and mentally lazy. It’s so easy to slip into my day to day routines and just not think about what is going into my mind; glossing over the negativity that creeps in and just in general not dealing with my spirituality at all. So, I’m trying to make more of an effort to be disciplined about it. This blog is one of the tools I’m using to that end.
Another spell that my friend gave me yesterday is one to help you if you feel that someone who is your enemy is working against you, but you feel that you don’t want to delve into any darkness to stop them. Again, get a piece of paper and write that person’s name on it all the while focusing all your negative feelings and energies regarding them into the writing of their name on the paper. Put the paper in a waterproof/leakproof ziplock baggie and then fill the baggie with water. Put the baggie of water and paper in the freezer. This will effectively freeze their negative actions toward you. I have not tried this yet, but I plan to later today. I will let you all know how it goes.
That’s all I have for now.
Merry part and Blessings Be!