The suit of Wands is associated with the element of fire. The first thing I felt when I drew this card and saw that it was inverted was that my inner fire may be burning low today. Otherwise, this card speaks of someone who is over confident because they have conquered many people and difficult situations to get where they are. It speaks of victory and confidence in skills and abilities, but also speaks of a warning to avoid the hubris and lassitude that may come from sitting on top of the mountain.
Since my card is inverted, it is telling me that I don’t feel confident in my skills and abilities today. It is speaking to me of feeling like I will never be able to get to the top of the mountain. It is speaking of frustration.
I am frustrated in my role as a parent. My daughter is two and has the requisite tantrums which accompany two year olds. She screams, hits, sometimes bites, calls me names…the whole nine. At these times, I feel woefully ill equipped to deal with her. I am mainly an over indulgent parent and I’m very demonstrative with my affections. I hug and kiss her a lot and carry her around. She sits in my lap most times when we are at home. It’s when I stop being over indulgent and am firm on the boundaries that the tantrums come. I don’t know whether to just let her have her screaming fit or to try to intervene at that point. I definitely don’t want to spank her or use any other kind of physical intervention. I’ve tried “time out”, but that doesn’t work very well. She won’t stay where she’s supposed to. I’ve tried reasoning with her and explaining cause and consequence in a way hopefully that she can understand, but it doesn’t seem to stick in her brain. The next time I tell her that it’s bedtime or that she can’t jump on the bed because she will fall off, the tantrum will be inevitable. It leaves me feeling emasculated, feeling like a bad person and a bad mother, and feeling guilty for being so under equipped to deal with her at those moments. What I mainly do during these moments is pray silently for patience and that I can be enabled to be kind towards her no matter what her actions towards me may be. I cannot express how much I love her and I always want her to know that she is my treasure and my aim is to always treat her as such.