Dream Journal

Dream of the Mutilated Blonde Woman (January 2014)

I was in a morgue-type setting. It was chilly. Everything white, bright and cold. I saw a nude female body on a slab in front of me. She had long, blonde hair which was matted with blood and dirt. Her body was twisted in such a way that she was laying partially on her side. She was cold and stiff with rigor mortis. The next thing I saw was her back. Someone had carved into her back the word “whore” over and over again. It was there so many times that there was hardly any place on her back where there was skin that was not carved. My eyes moved down her back to her buttocks and I noticed that her legs were spread apart vulgarly. I saw that where her genitals and anus had been that there was only one big hole: gaping, shredded and bloody. I knew in my heart that she had been raped repeatedly over a long period. The next thing I noticed were her thighs. Someone had made a deep cut from her crotch to her knee on the inside of both thighs. The cuts were so deep that I could see the layers of skin and fat all the way down to the bone. The cuts had then been sewn loosely with black thread in a criss-cross pattern that reminded me of corset laces.

Update: I did some researching and found out that, according to Jungian psychology, seeing yourself dead in a dream can mean that a part of yourself is dead or dying and that you are moving on to something better or something positive. It could be that the woman on the slab in the morgue was a representation of my old self. How I used to see myself. Now that I am moving forward spiritually, emotionally and in my physical life she could be a representation of the negative things I’m leaving behind. Originally, I thought that the reason I dreamt that was that the person who is working against me felt such negativity towards me that he projected it on me and it manifested itself in my dream. This also could be the case since I have .been dealing with a lot of negative energy from him recently. He is one of those really bad people I got involved with during the last self destruct spiral I experience due to the loss of my fiance.

Here is one of the sites I found that talks about seeing yourself dead in a dream:  http://www.mythsdreamssymbols.com/ddd.html .

Dream of Dark Familiar House, Demonic Face and Shadow Children (February 2014)

I dreamt that I was searching for a man.

I remember someone in the dream, who wasn’t physically present, say that this man had killed forty eight people. I went into this man’s house. I think I was on a ghost hunt, because I remember feeling strongly that he was a spirit and that he didn’t like his possessions, which were still in the house, moved.

I don’t remember entering through any kind of doorway. I just remember being there. I was standing in a darkened hallway and reached out to flip the light switch. It came on but only dimly and flickered. I remember knowing my way around this house like I had been there before. My favorite shawl was even hanging on a peg in the hallway. I remember this because I took it off the peg and put it on.

I knew where to reach out for the light switches even though I was mostly in the dark. I turned around to see a room on my left. I did not want to go in there because it was dark and the actual light switch I knew was all the way across the room, but I knew there there was a pull string to turn the light on so I pulled it, but it never came on.

I was terrified, but I turn back down the hallway and saw a room to my right. I KNEW that if I went in there that I would be in more danger and I knew that there was a light switch right inside the doorway, but I didn’t even stick my hand in there. I continued down the hallway and went through an open doorway and  up about three steps into a living room area that was very dimly lit. I really really wanted to get out of the house, but I happened to look into a room around the corner and to the left of the living room and saw a demonic face looking back at me smiling. It was so scary. I then was back in the living room area frantically searching for the front door. There was a fireplace directly across the room that I thought was the front door, but I was mistaken since was so frightened that I became confused and felt like I was spinning in circles and dizzy. I finally managed the front door and go outside.

Once outside, there was an animal with me that first appeared to be a cat. I walked down the walkway from the house to the street where I saw other houses. It was a residential neighborhood and, of course, it was dark out. I turned right and started walking up the side walk when I saw what appeared to be two or three children on the other side of the street walking towards me. As I walked they kept getting closer. As they got closer, I saw that they had no faces and that the one in the front was eating something that looked like a small leg, but again, I could see no mouth. They looked like shadows. Whatever light was around them was sucked up by them as they moved.

They started running towards me and I started running away from them, but I didn’t turn around. I ran backwards, or rather, I floated back wards very fast. I don’t remember my feet touching the ground. The animal that was with me then turned into something resembling a dog and began attacking the shadow children. I remember it pulling pieces off of them and spitting them out on the ground. It looked like they would have been chunks of flesh, but they were instead pieces of shadow.

Dream of M *again* (February 8, 2014)

I keep having dreams of M (he is a guy I know and have known for at least 20 years). This time, I saw him engaged in a sexual encounter with a woman who had short dark hair. I saw her face, which is odd, because I hardly ever see faces in my dreams. That part was very short and then morphed into what I felt like was me about to get married to someone named Skip or Skipper. I didn’t know the man really, but evidently, the marriage was approved of by all of my friends and family. By this time, I felt like I was the person from the sexual encounter with M, but I remember seeing her from above so I’m confused about that part. If she were me, then I wouldn’t have been able to see her face from that viewpoint. She also told him to give her all of his pain and anger and she would filter through herself so that he could be healed spiritually.  This is strange, because, I have been told that this is one of my spiritual gifts.

Anyway, I had picked out a dress. It was a one-shouldered floral affair which everyone seemed to love. I remember it had lots of red roses at the bottom. Before the wedding, I went to some sort of salon where I got my hair and makeup done by another person I know, L (I’ve also known her for around 20 years. She is really a make-up artist.) She airbrushed most of my make-up and then worked on my eyes with lots of black liner. I remember she gave me a mirror so I could see her work. She had made my eyes look huge and disproportionate to my face. I remember thinking I looked like an anime character. After L was done, I went into another part of the salon to get my hair done. All the while, I was thinking about M.

After my hair and makeup was done, I was left to myself alone in one of the bedrooms of the house where the salon was located. M came barging through the door with a large blue sombrero in one hand and maracas in the other. I was very glad to see him. We kissed and hugged. Then, he knelt and told me that he wanted to marry me and that we should elope to Las Vegas. (At this point, I was really confused as to why he had a blue sombrero and maracas.) He told me that I should not marry Skip because he didn’t love me and he knew that I didn’t love him. He said that he knew the only reason I was going ahead with the marriage was because Skip was wealthy and I wanted the security. I told M that I loved him, but that I couldn’t stop the wedding. He was devastated and left.

At this point, L, came in with my dress and helped me put it on. I walked out of the room to much Oooing and ahhing. I walked by the back of the sanctuary (somehow the house had a salon and a church) and saw Skip walking to and fro at the front by the pulpit.

The next thing I remember was being in a diner still all made up with my wedding dress on. I was trying to call M to no avail. I kept trying to dial his number, but my fingers kept hitting the wrong buttons or the number would just disappear on the screen.  I started to cry out of sheer frustration and then someone pushed toward me one of those old rotary dial phones. I dialed his number. He picked up and I asked him excitedly where he was. He wouldn’t say, but I had a vision of him trapped and bloody somewhere and knew that he had done this to himself. I kept asking him where he was and that I would come get him, but he would never say.

Dream of J. (February 9, 2014)

I dreamt of J whom I’ve known in real life since about 2007 and who lived with me for the better part of that year.

I was working behind a desk at a hotel or a hospital. I remember fiddling with the picture of myself in my badge thinking that it was too small and wishing that they would hire me on permanently instead of my having to labor away as a temp.

I went with a coworker to the bar/restaurant on site. We watched with amusement as several young men met at the bar and attracted a bevy of women. As I watched, one of them looked me in the eye and I realized it was J and he recognized me. He smiled but the smile did not reach his eyes. It was more of an acknowledgment of  ”I see you”.

At this point, I became frightened and left the restaurant as nonchalantly as possible. Once out in the hallway, I started to run for the elevators thinking if I could just get to the elevators I would be safe. I felt that J was chasing me, but I never saw him. Also, as I was running down the hallway, I got a vision of him chasing me on another earlier occasion in a school, but that time I hadn’t gotten away. I got to the elevators and pressed the “1″ button for the first floor and felt the elevator start to descend. I remember thinking I hoped that I had outrun him and that he hadn’t taken the other elevator down ahead of me.

This is a strange dream, because J has never stalked me or threatened me.  I don’t know what this dream signifies other than I am running from someone, which I am. Incidentally, in the dream, J did not look like himself. He looked like Spock from the series Star Trek. Maybe I just watch too much sci fi.

Dream of My Twin, the Three-Eyed Tiger and the Sorcerer (February 10, 2014)

This dream is going to be hard to describe because it was all over the place and because I am only remembering fragments of it.

I was a twin. I had long coal black wavy-to-straight hair. I seem to have been pretty proud of my hair because there were several times in the dream where I saw myself in the mirror futzing with it. I was young and pretty. My twin looked like me but had light blonde hair.

It seems that she had been dating a man who was some kind of wizard or sorcerer. There was a point in the dream where a narrator was telling a story of a two tigers born a world away: one female, one male. The female had six eyes with one eye having a double eye. That is, in one eye there were two complete eyeballs: white, iris, and pupil. The male had three eyes of which the third, on the forehead in the tradition place of the “third eye”, had the double eyeball. The female tiger cub had died shortly after being born, but the male had survived and was now in the possession of my twin’s wizard/sorcerer boyfriend. The tiger was supposed to be special because it had a spiritual power or had a spirit attached to it. I’m unclear on this point.

I remember being at a school with my twin who, since she had started seeing her boyfriend, was prone to violent outbursts and would seem to become a totally different person. I spent most of the dream protecting her.  At one point, while we were at the school in the bathroom, I was fussing around with my hair and admiring myself in the mirror, when my twin had one of her violent fits. This time, her whole appearance changed. She was hitting me and screaming obscenities. I had to drag her from the bathroom and out of the school. Once we were outside, the school exploded into flames. While we were standing in the parking lot well away from the flames, I saw the three-eyed tiger on the far side of the property watching us and pacing back and forth.

It seems that my twin and I lived in a loft type apartment with a large basement. I took her there after we left the school. I put her to bed and went to look for her boyfriend. I guess I was going to give him the what for, but I’m not really sure. I walked there from our living space. It was a sunny day and I remember seeing all sorts of people sitting on a grassy lawn in front of the place where her boyfriend lived. There had to be 200 sitting on the lawn. I remember thinking that they were all deceived sycophants.

When I got inside, I was again in a bathroom looking at myself in a mirror. There was a window on my right and I saw the tiger walk by it. I don’t remember ever actually finding her boyfriend there, but getting out of the building was quite challenging. I think I was being chased. I think I stole a car and then there ensued a high speed chase on many curvy roads.

What is interesting about this is that I actually saw my face in the mirror. As I’ve stated before, I hardly ever see faces in my dreams. Also, I don’t have any siblings that I am aware of, much less a twin. The twin may represent a different side of my personality.

Dream of Calendars-2/24/14

Last night I was spiritually attacked after giving a very negative tarot reading to a person who, I found out later, had demonic spirits attached to her: an incubus and a vampire demon. Those are the only two I know of. I severed contact with her because of the attack.

I did a past, present and future reading for her. The past card was the Four of Pentacles which symbolizes someone who is selfish in every way; taking and never giving; perhaps hoarding something like wealth for fear that it will disappear or someone will take it; someone who hates and resents change; someone who only has one view of the world; someone who has cut themselves off from everyone due to their selfishness and someone who is in denial of the things right in front of them. The present card was Temperence, but it was inverted, suggesting of someone who is not in harmony with anything; who has no equilibrium; no moderation of extremes or self restraint; I got the feeling that this person’s personality was manic and all over the place. Her future card was the Two of Swords suggesting that in her near future, she would be in a weird lock step dance with those around her trying to find some grace, but never getting there. She would never compromise and would still be in denial and those around her would find her hard, stubborn and unyielding.

She told me that I was in no way right about this. That my whole reading of her had been wrong. By this time, I had begun to feel the first of the attack so I knew that I was right and that she was totally in denial just as the cards said that she would be. She got very angry with me so I severed contact with her and suffered through her attack for the rest of the night and into the next morning.

I tried to sleep, but only had dreams of calendars floating through space. I did some research on dreams of calendars and discovered that calendars in dreams can signify a date looming that you’d rather not think about; can mean that you are a very organized person; also can mean a gradual reduction of worries. Since I’m not very organized I guess I’m going to go with a looming date I’m not looking forward to and/or a gradual reduction of worries. I have been meaning to perform the binding spell again since the last full moon, but haven’t done it. I had to get supplies and then I bought a black onyx and a rainbow moonstone ring so those had to be cleansed for 72 hours in the freezer so….I don’t know why I’m procrastinating. I should be on top of this so that the stalker will not move against me.

Dream of the Number 13 and Shaving Myself-2/25/14

In my dreams last night was the number 13, specifically April 13, just floating around here and there. It was kind of like how the calendars would appear in the dreams I had the night before. I woke thinking that something important was going to happen on that day. I did some online research and discovered that the number 13 can either represent wealth or bad luck. So, basically, no one really knows and it’s all up for interpretation. I remember in my dream that I was reading an email saying that I had been hired for this job I interviewed for and that this was the day they would love for me to start. Sometimes I have dreams that come true. We’ll see if this one does.

Also, I dreamt that I was in the shower shaving my private parts. In my online research I found that seeing one’s own genitals in a dream can mean any of these things: profits, children, fame, carnal desires, want, family, strength, virility, conduct, or longevity.  I had to look up separately: “dream of genitals female” and “dream of shaving”. Apparently to dream of shaving yourself means that you will govern your own business and dictate to your household.

These three things combined seem to tell me that I will get the job I interviewed for, that I will be successful at it and make profits and will govern my own business (work from home?). If all this comes to pass, I will be ecstatic. I’ve been waiting so long to reap rewards of work. I’ve been sowing and sowing, but feel like I’ve not had the chance to harvest. It’s time.

Dream of My Father and Measuring Electromagnetic Bodily Energy-3/8/14

I haven’t been keeping up with my dream journal like I should have. I’ve had some crazy dreams over the past few days, but since I didn’t write them down like I should have I have forgotten them. However, I do remember the one I had yesterday and the one I had last night. So, here they are:

Yesterday, while taking a nap with my daughter, I dreamt of my father. He passed in April of 2011. He was 82. I think he was sitting behind a desk. He was talking to me, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. It was all garbled. What I do remember is seeing his face and his white hair. I have been trying to find out a way to find out what his message was to me. I’ve had several people tell me that he is still here with me. I’m pretty sure my daughter sees him.

Last night, I dreamt that I was sitting in a chair and someone was trying to measure my energy by putting their hand to my forehead. That’s really all I remember of that one.

Dream of the Conveyor Belt of Body Parts and Yoda On A Shoulder 3/15/14

Last night, I dreamt that I was in a factory of some kind. I was standing in front of a conveyor belt where there were passing in front of me the lower torsos of women. They were upside down as if they had been cut in the midsection and flipped upside down so that they could fit neatly on the conveyor belt. Every one of the lower torsos had had their genitalia removed. Their legs were moving around wildly as if they were still connected to their bodies. What I saw between the legs looked like butchery. It was all blood dripping and wiggling legs.

In the other part of my dream, I was in a dry desert area. A very large man was standing in front of me with a person sitting on his shoulder facing backwards. This person looked like Yoda. The Yoda person was speaking to me about universal spiritual truths and a bible based on the Star Wars philosophies.


Last night, I had three dreams that I remember.

In the first one, I was with my daughter in a room with a small, rectangular window at the bottom of the wall near the floor. We both laid down on our tummies on the floor to look through the window. It was just large enough to get your arm through. What we saw on the other side were at first some kittens and then some larger cats. My daughter was the first to reach through the window to try and pet the cats. I reached through then and petted a cat that was black and white striped. The cat seemed to like the attention for a minute and then turned it’s face to me and I saw a sneer and then it tried to bite me. I pulled my daughter’s hand back through the window so she wouldn’t get bitten. I then noticed that all the cats didn’t have the regular looking cat teeth. There were lots of little pointed teeth and they looked like they were made of metal. They were very tiny like the size of needles. My daughter and I then got up off the floor. I picked her up and tried to get out of the room, but it was full of her toys and I kept tripping on them trying to get to the door. I never made it out of that room, though I did get close to the door.

The second dream I had is a bit less clear. I remember first there was a factory with some people working in it who felt as if they were slaves. I saw it from the outside and there were what looked like storage silos in a circle formation sitting on top of huge supporting beams. Like the ones that support water towers. It seems that they were making beer or something similar. I think someone told me that the storage tanks held humans and that they humans were slowly disintegrated within the storage tanks above and put into the beer.

The next thing I remember is the storage tanks being lifted off by something that looked like helicopters only a lot larger. I looked up to see the storage tanks suspended in the air by these huge flying machines and the liquid that was in them was spilling out all over everything below. There were also all kinds of carrion birds flocking around the suspended tanks and sitting on them.  They were also flocking down below on the ground wherever the liquid had pooled. In particular, I remember seeing a flock of huge vultures sitting all over the top of one of the suspended storage tanks. They didn’t appear to be eating anything, but they seemed to be waiting for something. One vulture was significantly larger than the others. It was black and white and was staring at me.

In the next dream I remember there was a war. It seemed that this war had been going on for generations. Always a force from another dimension would invade and conquer the people in this world I saw. At first, they came from the water. Some looked naked and some looked frozen. The second invasion came from some people who claimed to be a family, but were really some weird kind of incestuous cult. Finally, there was a redheaded woman who came over from the other side to speak with my father about mounting a final offensive so that the city would not be taken again. My father was hesitant to follow her advice, but she was a general from the next army that was about to invade. The dream ended before I knew if he took her advice. I do, however remember that there were some human sacrifices. I saw some women hanging naked and upside down from trees with their long hair swaying. I remember people running amok in the city and that there was cannibalism. This is all I remember of this dream.






Last night I had two dreams that I remember:

In the first dream I saw myself as a teenage boy standing in front of a bathroom mirror examining the skin on my face. I saw first two blackheads on my right cheek and I went to push them out with my fingers. What came out looked like whitish/greyish worms. I then noticed a bunch of the same thing on my chin and began pushing those out with the same result. There were hundreds of whitish/greyish worms coming out of my face.

In the second dream, I was a woman and cleaning up the kitchen. I was in the midst of washing dishes when the sink backed up. I looked down to see that the water was very dark and dirty. I put my hands into the dirty water to see if there was something in the drain blocking the water. At that time, I noticed that there were little white things floating and swimming in the water. I quickly took my hands out of the water and saw that they were worms. They had burrowed into my skin and were traveling up my arms towards my shoulders and face. I ran to the bathroom to see in the mirror where they were going. The rest of the dream consisted of me digging the worms out of my skin trying to purify myself. Some worms were bigger than others and some were also harder to remove. When I pulled them out of my skin with my hands they would pop back like rubber bands.





Last night, I dreamt that I was in my bed asleep with my daughter.  I saw everything in my room as it normally is with every detail. I woke up and looked to my right (my daughter sleeps to the right of me) and saw her asleep. I saw the window by the bed and then my gaze drifted down from there to see that there had been one of those little fake Christmas trees sitting on my bed. I wondered how it had gotten on the bed and then noticed that all of the branches had fallen off and were laying on the bed in disarray. The root was still intact, however, and sitting in the stand.

I have been trying to research on the internet what this dream might mean, but I haven’t been able to find anything so far. There isn’t much on dreaming about Christmas trees.


I just had a strange thing happen during my nap with my daughter.

Let me preface this experience by saying that during my meditation today, I feel that I went further than I ever have before towards meeting my spirit guide. During meditation, I believe I heard his voice for a second saying something like, “Do you really want to go back and forth…”. That’s all I got was that fragment. Right after that, I saw a narrow mirror come down in front of my face and I thought I saw my own reflection, but it was more like seeing myself only as a man. A man with long straight blonde hair. Also, I think he was smiling and I think he winked at me.

Ever since I have started the mediation with Lillian Eden, I have felt like my crown chakra has been sort of floating on the top of my head. Like I could take it off if I wanted to. I have felt also like my spirit has been trying to leave my body of it’s own accord. I have to admit, I have been looking forward to the part of the meditation where I feel like my body is floating. However, today, I felt not only like I was floating, but also I got very nauseous as well for no apparent reason.  I did some research on out of body experiences and found out that the floating feeling followed by nausea is common when the spirit is trying to rise from the body.

Moving forward to what happened a little while ago: I had laid down with my daughter for our nap. I haven’t been sleeping very well for the past few days. It has been a really light sleep. It was the same for our nap today. I drifted into a dream of being in an upstairs apartment that was roughly L-shaped. It had two walls that were completely windows from floor to ceiling with one bedroom in what seemed to be a living area (the bed was raised above the living room on a loft style platform) and the other around the L-corner in an actual separate room. There was a low bed on the floor in the bedroom on which I had laid down to sleep. I was laying on my back. I began to get the floating/nausea feeling like my spirit was trying to leave my body when a name came into my head. The name was Peter.

Coincidentally (or maybe not), a few years ago, I had been hardcore praying for a man named Peter. I prayed for him for several years without ever meeting him. I felt as though God had put him on my heart, so I prayed and prayed and prayed for him. This man, Peter, whom I prayed for, passed away a few years ago apparently due to a drug overdose. He had been severely and chronically depressed for many years. I found this out after he passed.

In the dream, I felt that this person, Peter, was the same person whom I had prayed for in my waking life. I called out his name softly, “Peter.”. Immediately, I felt as if my body started to spin and I got really hot. I felt as if the heat was coming up through my back and making it’s way towards the front of my body. It came on suddenly like a hot flash. So during the spinning and the sudden heat I saw behind my closed eyes the words, “HE MADE IT. HE MADE IT. HE MADE IT. “. I told him quietly that I wished that I had been able to meet him while he was still alive. I also told him for some reason that I knew he had enjoyed that playground over by his mother’s house when he had been a boy. I kept seeing the words, “HE MADE IT,” being repeated over and over behind my eyes with the addition of, “HE HAS PASSED. HE HAS PASSED,” repeated as well. I felt as though this meant that the man, Peter, whom I thought I was talking to had passed on to the other side and that this entity with whom I was having this experience was not the Peter whom I had prayed for.

The next thing I did, was to tell this spirit, “You must let me go in Jesus’ name” Then the heat got markedly hotter. As if someone had just turned up the dial to “extra hot”. I started to pant in my dream because the heat was burning me. At that point, I came out of my dream and opened my eyes to find that my body really was hot and I was very dizzy and had that floating feeling again. I felt somewhat startled, but not too scared. Right now, I just feel that I had an encounter with some spirit which did not have my best interests at heart. It could be that I had an out of body experience by accident. This has happened before. It happened with the man, Peter, whom I had prayed for.


Another Dream of Worms and a Dream of Anointing.

 I have had another dream of worms. This time, I dreamed I was looking at myself in the mirror yet again, when I saw two horizontal lines of worms crawling under my skin: one going left the one below it going right. I reached up to my eye and pulled one out. This time, it was black with a little white eye. In this dream, I also went to the doctor and asked if these worms could be transmitted via breast milk to my daughter since I was still nursing and the doctor said yes.

I have no idea what this dream means or any other of the worm dreams I have been having lately. If anyone reads this and can enlighten me I would sure love the help.

The night before I had the last worm dream, I dreamed that I was anointed with golden oil from a white chalice. I don’t remember seeing anyone, but I feel like I was kneeling. I remember seeing the oil come out of the chalice towards my face. I don’t remember feeling it on my face or hair, but woke from the dream knowing that it had covered me.


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