On Managing Emotions and Why I Did Not Participate in the Hexing/Binding Ritual Against Donald Trump

emotions-word-collage

Regarding managing emotions, I count myself among many other people who struggle with this particular part of life. I had a graphic that I was going to post, but it seems as though it has gone missing along with so many other things I can’t seem to find in my house when I need them.

Anyway, the graphic goes something like this: As human beings we are vessels filled with all kinds of emotions, which is a good thing, in my humble opinion. It is the way we express our emotions and whether or not they are appropriate at the time/place we express them is the issue of the graphic.

An example: A parent with a 5-year-old child attempts to reason with their child about an action they have taken which the parent considers to be wrong (dragging the cat by one leg across the floor or by the tail; shouting at parent or other children; hitting or otherwise hurting another child are some examples of this). Of course, the child will be automatically on the defensive when/if the parent confronts the child about this behavior. The parent, in this instance has to choose what kind of emotion to display to their child: outright anger, which may lead to punitive punishment(s) or patience and calmness leading to a dialogue with the child which is done on their level of understanding so that the child understands that whatever action they have done was wrong and ways to figure out how to not make that mistake again. A parent may think that when this dialogue is done that their child understands and that the issue is done and that the child won’t make that same mistake again, however, that parent would be wrong. Studies have shown that the frontal lobe of the brain, which is the place where impulsiveness and understanding of the consequences of our actions live, does not fully mature until the mid- 20s. Here is a link to an MIT article explaining how this works. If and/or when the child repeats the same mistake over and over again can make the parent extremely frustrated and angry and this anger my overtake any previous ideas of speaking calmly with their child. The parent may resort to outright punishment (this may include time outs, spankings, or escalations of any kind of violence towards the child). (My belief is that any kind of violence towards a child, even spanking, is sort of a “gateway” to more and more mistreatment of the child. This is why I choose not to spank. I used to use time-outs, but that just fostered emotional distance between myself and my child. So, now, we use “time-ins” where we both sit quietly for about 5 minutes and talk about what we are feeling and what we can do that can further a healthy relationship between ourselves. Also, we discuss what behavior is inappropriate and what is appropriate depending on the circumstance. Always remembering to speak to my child in way that she can understand. Otherwise, I’m just speaking into the air, which provides further frustration for me and my child.)

Before any violence or yelling takes place towards the child (or any other person an individual may be having problems with), it behooves the person who is trying to manage their emotions in a healthy way to stop and take a breath or even walk away for a few minutes to try to get some perspective on what is really happening instead of having a knee-jerk emotional reaction. I’m not saying that emotions are bad. We were given emotions for a reason and in the right time and place,displaying one’s emotions is great and appropriate. For instance: I can’t watch two people get married, whether is man/woman, man/man, woman/woman or any other kind of marriage without tearing up a little or outright crying. It’s not that I’m sad. I just feel so happy at weddings and that is the way my emotion at that time is displayed and I feel that this is appropriate as long as I don’t go into some kind of loud wailing or do something else to take attention off the wedding and onto myself. That would be totally inappropriate.

Mostly the emotion I’m speaking of here is anger, but this can also be applied to thoughts which take us down the spiral into depression. When I worked in a Christian street ministry and taught bible study, I referred to this as “taking every thought captive to the obedience of the Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5) Even though, at that time, I used this method in a bible study setting it does apply to every day life even if one does not espouse the Christian faith. When a thought comes along about my past, for instance, I can choose to either entertain that thought or cast it aside and opt for a more positive and/or more healthy thought pattern. Sometimes we choose to wallow in depression. I can’t say that I haven’t done this. I have. I tend to have the most trouble with this at night after my daughter has fallen asleep. Since I don’t have anything to distract me, it’s easier for those damaging thoughts to creep in. Again, the challenge here is to choose which thoughts to entertain. This can be a very hard process and it takes some time for a person to recognize certain thoughts as damaging and/or unhealthy before that person can begin to stop the cycle and take hold of their thoughts and choose to move toward a healthier place mentally and emotionally.

I am challenged with this on a daily basis several times a day. It so happens that my biggest challenges are dealing with anger, depression and anxiety. I want to model healthy behavior for my daughter, but am not always successful. So when I am not, I have made it a priority to try to explain to her, in a way that she can understand, that I am sorry for my bad/inappropriate behavior and that I will do my best to get better.

I don’t think I’m alone in struggling with this. In my humble opinion, managing one’s emotions is one of the things our society as a whole is seriously lacking. We don’t have very many models to go by. In our culture of instant gratification, if we (as a collective) perceive that we are not getting what we want we tend to lose our collective shit and jump right over the fence into proverbial left field.

This brings me to Donald Trump. This person is not a good model for managing emotions. He displays such a lack of emotional control that he can seem to be petty and childish at times. I don’t watch him speak very often as I try to stay away from the “news” because it depresses me, but seriously, my five-year-old has better control of her emotional outbursts.  I’m not going to get into Trump-bashing, but suffice it to say: I did not vote for him.

A few days ago, on February 4th to be exact, there was a call for all witches or anyone who practices the magickal arts to perform a hexing and/or a binding on Donald Trump. I did not participate in that and here’s why.

  1. I subscribe to the belief of the universal law of “3 x 3”. Meaning, whatever energy you put out you get back times three, be it positive or negative. I don’t believe in “black” or “white” or “gray” magick. I believe it is the intent of the person performing whatever spell or ritual is done that makes it either dark, light or gray. Everyone has some darkness, some light and some gray areas. So again: intent is what matters here. If I had done a hexing or binding on Donald Trump, I would have invited that energy to come back and basically punch me in the face. Hard.
  2. I recently learned, after performing many binding spells, that whatever you bind is bound to you. A few years ago, out of desperation and fear for my life, I performed a binding ritual with a mirror or “bounce back” effect in it. Meaning that I bound the person from hurting me or my child and should that person attempt any harm towards me or my child that all the energy that was put into those actions or thoughts would, in effect, “bounce back” on that person. It’s sort of like a hex, but not overtly so because it all depends on how much negative energy that person puts out towards the caster of the binding spell. Now, after about 4 years, I realize that this person hardly ever leaves my thoughts. The hard part is that I do not want to think about this person, because I don’t want to draw that person’s thoughts towards me or my child. After some serious meditation on this issue and doing some research, I realized that as long as I keep this person bound with the spell, this person is bound to me because of the spell I did. I think it goes without saying that I do not, in any way, wish to bound in any sort of fashion (spiritual or otherwise) to Donald Trump. So, I left that alone.
  3. Whether for good or ill, Donald Trump is our president now. I believe that if he wasn’t meant to be in that position for some reason or other, that he would not be there. I don’t believe in coincidences or “luck”. I believe everything happens (or doesn’t happen) for a reason. I may not always understand that reason, but I don’t want to mess with what the universe has planned for Donald Trump. Also, and this may sound like it came directly from my mother, I believe that very soon he will have enough rope to metaphorically hang himself. I prefer to let him make his own messes and lie in his own bed rather than call on the spirits to do it for him. Again, I don’t want that energy to come back at me. I’m not judging anyone who participated. I think people, in general, should have the freedom to follow their beliefs. I follow mine. You follow yours. Live and let live.
  4. Finally, I don’t wish Donald Trump or his family any harm. I will, however, stock up on popcorn in anticipation of the day he makes his bed and then has to lay in it.
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Tarot Card of the Day: Two of Pentacles and Daily Meditation on Wisdom

Upright Two of Pentacles Tarot Card Meanings

Biddy Tarot

In the Two of Pentacles is an individual whose consciousness, represented by the waters, is tossed by seemingly conflicting interests. While the Ace of Pentacles represents the beginnings of a new business or financial venture, the Two represents the need to balance that venture with other important areas of life such as family, friends, and even our own physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. This card indicates the necessity for balance between opposing desires and interests. Life will always be uncertain, yet if you can produce balance and harmony among all the demands upon you, you will ultimately live happily and in prosperity.

Thus, the Two of Pentacles serves as a reminder to remain alert, agile and patient as you attempt to juggle your family, your friends, work, finances, health and new challenges. You need to be very clear on your priorities and where you want to invest your time and energy. There is a tendency to be distracted by day-to-day affairs and general busy-ness, so prioritising your activities and carefully managing your time is essential.

The Two of Pentacles brings you back down to earth and reminds you to not only focus on your broader life goals but to also make sure your day-to-day affairs are in order. This is a card of good time management and financial management, ensuring that your bills are paid on time, that you keep a record of all your appointments and daily commitments, etc. It may sound tedious having to focus your attention on these more mundane issues but this card reminds you that sometimes getting on top of your daily affairs is as important as pursuing your broader life goals.

Sometimes, the Two of Pentacles can indicate that there are problems and difficulties in the future. There may be obstacles erected which hinder the attainment of what you wish to pursue or obtain in life. The situation may cause undue worry and again, you will be required to juggle your priorities and manage your time effectively to stay on top of the situation.

Similarly, the Two of Pentacles predicts change. You need to be able to cope with change, remaining flexible and adaptable in your approach. Rather than putting all your eggs in one basket, you may be better to keep two or more things going at once so you have the luxury of choice, should one option fall through. You must stay centred while you stay flexible and keep informed. Look for new possibilities, be open to change and go with the flow as best you can.


Daily Meditation 
Walk with the wise and be wise; walk with the stupid and be misled.~Proverbs
We may not believe we are wise. We may ask, “how could I be wise if I got myself into so much trouble and pain? How can I be wise if I now need the help of others to stay out of trouble and feel less pain?”

But what is wisdom? Very simply, it is good sense. it is the ability to make a choice that will be good for us. No one is born with wisdom. It is learned through trial and error. Just a glance into our past will assure us we have certainly had our share of trials and errors.
Have I made wise decisions today? How can I access my Higher Power to gain wisdom?

Right now, I have so much going on. I have three blogs, an Etsy site that I am selling hand made crochet items on, my child, trying to move into a place of our own, money issues, etc… I feel sometimes like the man in the Two of Pentacles standing on a rolling ball juggling a bunch of other balls and if I make one misstep, everything collapses and I fall. I am endeavoring to access my Higher Power daily (multiple times) through a prayer dialogue so that I can make wise decisions about all that is going on in my life. I have to say that I believe right now that if I relied on my own strength, none of this could be accomplished. What wisdom I have gained in my life, though it may be greater than some others, is nothing compared to the wisdom of the One. This seems to be a lesson that I have to keep relearning. I wish that I didn’t have to keep coming back to this place where I have to learn to trust all over again, but it seems to be the nature of me and it may be a cycle that I need to find out how to break. All I can say right now, though, is I am very thankful for the steadfastness and immovability of the One. Otherwise, I would be screwed.

Getting Through The Dark Night of the Soul

The dark night of the soul is a process many spiritual seekers go through at some point in their lives, I being one of them.  The dark night is not mentioned that much in spiritual texts and teachings.   A lot of the times, we are being told to be happy, raise your vibration, look to the light, but none of this will be lasting until you have loved the dark.

The dark night of the soul is an overall beautiful experience where a person’s ego/false self is “dying” to their true Self which is LOVE or in other words one is realizing the ego self is false and never really existed.

This process can occur at any point in one’s life, but it usually emerges after a spiritual seeker has attained a lot of spiritual knowledge or growth.  This is because the ego is now being called out for what it is and it tightens its grips on you to hide you from the light that you are.

Even though this is a very beautiful and sacred process, it can be perceived at the time as very difficult.  Especially when you are in the thick of the fog.  This is why it is called the dark night of the soul (it may feel like a dark century of the soul to some… lol).  Dark Night of the Soul

You feel as if you are stuck in the dark with no hope of seeing the light again.  You already feel totally alone due to this process, and on top of that it is not talked about often in spiritual texts.   This is because a lot of us look for the light only and try to run away from the dark, not realizing that the dark will only grow larger the more you ignore it.

Many think they have done something wrong when the symptoms of the Dark Night appear.  Especially if they just went through so much perceived spiritual growth.  This is furthest from the truth!  When you find yourself in the Dark Night show gratitude because you are going through a sort of rites of passage or a spiritual detox.  The pain you feel is the pain you have tried to suppress for years, decades, and even lifetimes.  It is now finally bubbling up to the surface to be healed with the love you give it.  Even though it seems painful to face this pain, you should feel honored that this pain is finally flowing out of you.  We don’t even realize the heavy baggage that we Dark Night of the Soulhave held onto for so long.

For whatever reason, you are in a position right NOW where it is inevitable to heal your pain, suffering, and feelings of separation from source.  This pain is not personal pain, even though it definitely feels like it when you are in the Dark Night!  Since our ego selves do not really exist, this pain is only a feeling we attach stories to.  This pain you feel is collective and felt through-out the world.  We feel this due to our belief that we are separate entities, cut off from Source.  When you accept and heal this pain, you heal the world’s suffering automatically!

When you are in a Dark Night, you feel as if you are in a depression.  Though you are in a “spiritual depression,” this is different from clinical depression because the symptoms do not come about due to a certain external situation.  You are not depressed because of someone or something, it just naturally emerged.  You feel miserable to say the least and you don’t know why.  You try everything to break yourself out of it and NOTHING works.  The more you try to get out of the Dark Night, the Dark Night of the Soulmore it will persist.

All types of emotions you have tried to suppress for so long,  haunt you day in and day out: guilt, shame, frustration, helplessness, anger, sadness, self-pity, loneliness.  These emotions are trying to get your attention, but we keep ignoring and resisting them.  Think of these emotions as a child that only wants your love.  They are trying to get your attention until you finally face them and accept them for what they are-emotions.  They are not YOUR emotions, they are just feelings in the body that we tie a story to.

During the Dark Night you feel totally alone.  You don’t know many, if any, people that have gone through this or are currently going through it.  You don’t feel like being bothered with loved ones and friends that don’t understand because they either think you are crazy and need help or their own fears arise about it and make matters even worse.   If you could snap out of it you would, but you barely have any energy or even many interests anymore.  All your energy is going to the ego through resisting the inevitable or trying to protect the false self.  Things that don’t serve you anymore.

You feel totally stuck!  The funny thing is, you truly want to be stuck or you wouldn’t be in the Dark Night anymore.  This was a realization I had during the Dark Night.   On one end you are miserable and suffering, but on the other end you know that to leave from this Dark Night, you have to let go of this Dark Night of the Soulsuffering and allow this change to occur.  And this is one of your deepest fears!  Your ego self is deathly afraid of finally coming out of existed.  Even with all the suffering I felt during the Dark Night, I still did not want to let go of it.  If I did, this meant my identification as the ego would drop and what then?  The fear of losing control that I never truly had and fear of the unknown kept me stuck in a very uncomfortable spot!

Sometimes the external circumstances during the Dark Night can get so uncomfortable and overwhelming that it pins you into a spot where the only way to get out is to surrender.  There is no way that the little personal self can “fix” these circumstances anymore and you need to allow life to work through you.  At the time you are so frustrated with this situation, but when you remember the big picture, this is definitely a blessing!

The reason why we find ourselves in a Dark Night is because we are learning trust, acceptance, love, and surrender.  This is our true nature, and the ego knows this and puts up a fight.  A very strong fight!   The ego is unwilling to give up its control and fearfulness and this is perfectly normal because this is ego’s nature.  When you see it as ego’s nature and not your nature and that it is inevitable, it gives you the power to ALLOW.

Dark Night of the SoulNow to get out of the Dark Night, it is up to you.  How fast you pass through this depends on how willing you are to let go of your addictions.  The tighter the ego’s grip, the longer it will take.   This was me!

We are addicted to suffering and attaching to pain because we love to fight ourselves.  We are in a constant battle with our ego.  This battle is what keeps the ego alive.  So we then believe we have an identity.  Without this battle we don’t know what we would be.  We fear this unknown territory and being vulnerable to this.  But this vulnerability and unknown territority is LOVE.  This is our true nature.

We are human BEINGS and this means that we are always seeking the Being or LOVE to fill this void we feel as humans since humans are seekers.  So the Catch 22 is that we fear the one thing we want more than anything.  These are all the reasons why one would find themselves in a Dark Night.

The first step of getting out of this process is to realize that this is a natural and inevitable process for you to go through since you are in it right now.  Once you realize you are in a Dark Night, you will realize nothing is wrong with you and you can start to step out of the way and let this spiritual Dark Night of the Souldetox work through and for you.

When we are in the Dark Night, we want to get out of it so much because we cannot take the pain and suffering, but when you realize that you are in it because your soul truly wants to be in it and that you can let go at any time, you can accept this process as inevitable.  This will speed up your process because you are embracing it and not resisting it anymore.

The next step is to do NOTHING.  Now, this may seem simple, but coming from an ego’s point of view this is impossible and symbolizes “death” for the ego.  The ego will make so much noise telling you lies and trying to get you to worry and be fearful or to “control,” but you are not these thoughts or feelings.   You are far greater since you are aware of these thoughts and feelings.  You are LOVE or Awareness itself.  So when  these thoughts come up, simply watch them or if a feeling comes up, simply feel it.  Love and embrace every thought, feeling, and situation you are trying to resist.  Acknowledge when you are resisting something.  Just be aware of it and feel how it feels in your body when you resist.  Tight and compacted right?

So doing NOTHING in this context means to simply BE.  Be the LOVE and awareness that you naturally are.   The Dark Night seems very miserable because we are resisting so much.  The ego’s fearful grip is so strong at this point because it wants to stay “alive.”  We have forgotten that we are LOVE and if we are LOVE, we embrace everything because we realize the inevitability of doing so Dark Night of the Souland because we know that nothing can harm us.  Nothing can touch you.  Nothing can shake you.  The light that you are shines on anything so that it would turn it to its natural state of light also.  We are all ONE.

Since all we have is NOW, you won’t get out of the Dark Night tomorrow, you will only get out of it NOW!  The key to getting out of it is…LOVING- the only reason we are on Earth.  The great thing is, just like our egos, the Dark Night is an illusion.  We have always been HOME and we have been the LIGHT the whole time that we were looking for it in the Dark Night.  Of course we have been the LIGHT, how else would we have been aware of the dark?  If we were dark too, we wouldn’t be able to observe the dark.

Take this beautiful time to finally face and embrace the dark once and for all.  Let the light of LOVE shine on it and dissolve it.  You are awakened NOW.  You are LOVE NOW.  There is no other way it could be.  Anything else is merely a dream!  The more you resist the Dark Night or the “stuck” place you are in, the more you keep repeating the lessons you need to learn.  Accept and embrace where you are NOW.  Embrace this pain and suffering.

Know that you are helpless in this process and surrender to LOVE.  Use your pain as the catalyst for a great transformation and rebirth.  Any transformation in life has had to go through some pain right before.  Birth is most painful right before coming out of the birth canal.  Caterpillars, snakes, and crabs are a few animals that go through a transformation where the old self  ”dies” to the new self.   Be like the phoenix and rise above the ashes of your old false self  just by Being the LOVE that you are! Life is all about cycles.  NOTHING lasts forever.  View this process as a rites of passage for a remarkable rebirth.  You will finally be free from the baggage you have clung onto for so long through resistance.

Just like Spring always comes after Winter, you will see the light!   Just like dawn always comes after the darkest hour, you will see the light!  Just like the sun is always there behind the clouds, your light is always illuminating your way through the Dark Night.  Trust in this process and know that it is just that-a process.  This too shall pass.

The Dark Night of the Soul

Seven Things That Can Block Your Spirit Guides

spirit guide

Your angels, spirit animals and spirit guides in general are supposed to be connecting and communicating with you, offering guidance for your life and acting as a source of light and encouragement. If you aren’t experiencing this, what’s the problem? As it turns out, it’s probably largely you yourself that stands in your own way, as well as the way of your spirit guides! Everything from your attitude to even the things that you eat can affect the connection with your spirit guides.

Never fear, however, there are a lot of things you can do in order to open the channels again. You are the problem, and you are also the solution.

Here are seven common problems that almost everyone faces. Of course, there are many more that you may discover in your own journey, so take these as a beginning point of examination and take a good look at your own heart and lifestyle:

INEXPERIENCE

So you’re new to the spiritual work game. That is no big deal! However, it can trip you up a little if you don’t know what you’re doing.

The best practice is to not do much at all! Keep an open heart and mind, of course, but learn to relax your mind, perhaps through a daily meditation, hold onto your patience and keep your expectations realistic.

You can also practice heightening all of your senses and increasing your awareness. Again, don’t constantly be on the lookout, but instead open the channels of your receptiveness.

DISORGANIZATION

You attract what’s around you. Is your home a big pile of clutter with random objects lost in the fray? Is your desk even visible under those stacks of who-knows-what? The state of your affairs can reflect your heart. This is why space clearing is so important in Feng Shui. Clean space, clean spirit!

That’s the kind of spirit and environment that your guides are attracted to. Make things as easy as possible on them and create the most appealing, welcoming atmosphere to them, and let them get to work.

EXPECTATIONS

Waiting for a gigantic sign with life directions to fall out of the sky and hit you on the head…literally? It’s time to move on and instead focus on your bond with your guides.

You never know how your guides will contact you, and by setting your expectations even really high, you’re putting them in a box and limiting yourself more than anything. Sometimes the gestures will be big and grand; other times, they will be just mere feelings, gentle whispers in your heart or your ears, or a fleeting visual. Sometimes, these signs are even more powerful than a huge clap of thunder!

Find the small signs, and the big ones may or may not come. It doesn’t matter! Once you connect with your guides, you’ll realize that the sign and the journey with the spirits itself is what matters.

IMPATIENCE

If you’re constantly wondering and anxiously waiting for messages from your spirit guides, the internal turmoil and anxiety you’re building up could cause you to miss it all together! Plus, when you’re in this state, you aren’t having faith in your guides, you’re demanding to have your way and your results. Where’s the beauty in that?

Building up your patience also builds your trust in your guides, thus strengthening your bond all the more. When you’re facing challenges, you can still know that your guides have your best interests at heart, and that they will be there for you at just the right time.

When you aren’t looking for it, all kinds of great things can happen unexpectedly. With a stronger bond with your guide, you’ll start to recognize that the coincidences that seem so fortuitously timed are intentional messages and guidance from the spirits who care about you.

DRAMA

The chaos of certain relationships and situations can certainly be the utmost distractions. When you’re constantly squabbling with an acquaintance or trying to make everyone happy, you yourself aren’t happy. You’re agitated, likely closed off, and unfocused. This can make it hard to connect with your spirit guides.

Ask your guides to help you clear your heart. Get rid of the negativity and fear and replace it with the peaceful, loving energy of positivity. Also ask your guides to help point out any relationships that you may have outgrown, ones that are only slowing you down and harming more than helping. It’s okay to trim back relationships that are draining you of valuable emotional and spiritual energy.

While it’s important to still love everyone around you no matter what, it’s your choice who to pour yourself into. The more negative energy you collect around yourself, your friends included, the harder it will be for your spirit guides to connect to you.

FOOD

Humans are clusters of energy waves, moving faster and faster all the time. As a human you have agreed to see yourself as solid forms through consensus reality. Everything you do and think, everything you eat and drink, in fact, everything you put into and around your body effects the overall vibration of your entire being. After all, we are energy, and food is energy for us, thus affecting our energy overall.

Therefore, it is quite essential that you pay attention to the vibrations of the foods you eat. When you eat foods that have a high and rapid vibration, you are more able to hold a strong, healthy, exuberant and joyful state. When, on the other hand, you eat foods of a slower, lower frequency, you lower your vibrations and, wonder why you don’t feel quite so good that day.

Each of us has a signature vibration; each food you ingest contributes to that vibration. Here are some of the foods for lower vibrations that you should avoid, not just for nutrition and toxin’s sakes:

Genetically modified (GMO) food, and conventional food that’s been treated with chemicals and pesticides
• White rice and flours
• Sugars, sweeteners (artificial etc.)
Coffee
• Sodas
Alcohol
Meat, fish and poultry
Processed, packaged, canned and fast foods
Unhealthy oils, like canola, cottonseed, margarine, and vegetable oils
• Frozen foods
• Pasteurized cows milk, yogurt and cheese
• Cooked foods, deep fried foods and microwaving food

OVERANALYZING

Our egos can be one of the biggest trip-ups of all. When it’s chattering away in our ears that it knows best, tell it to be quiet for a bit! When you’re analyzing everything, you can break the connection with your guides. Some of the sweetest moments come when you have sudden clarity and insight that you hadn’t seen before.

Your guides want you to have faith in them, and it also creates the space for all the miracles they want for you. They may not be earth-shattering and crazy every time, but by letting them come to you instead of dissecting every little thing, you can reap their benefits more often and be amazed by their simple beauty.

MindBodySpirit.com

Emotional Freedom Technique Tutorial

freedom bird

How to do the EFT Tapping Basics – The Basic Recipe

The Basic Tapping Procedure – The Centerpiece of EFT

The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe is an easy to use healing tool that provides the very foundation for expanding your emotional freedom. It is the tapping procedure that we use in every round of EFT … it is easy to learn and easy to apply, which is why EFT has become well known as a tool that anyone can use. By itself, the EFT Tapping Basic Recipe can be applied to any issue you want, and although it is still only the first step to EFT’s full potential, it continues to provide results that range from encouraging to impressive. The rest of the benefits come when you learn how to aim the tapping procedure at the best targets, but you will need to know the basics before learning the rest, so let’s get started!

A recipe, of course, has certain ingredients which must be added in a certain order. If you are baking a cake, for example, you must use sugar instead of pepper and you must add the sugar before you put it in the oven.

flower cake

Otherwise….no cake.

The EFT Basic Recipe is no exception. Each ingredient must be introduced precisely as described and they must be added in the proper order.

Although I am going to some length to describe it in detail, The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe has only 5 brief steps (ingredients) and takes very little effort to learn. Once memorized, each round of it can be performed in about 30 seconds. It will take some practice, of course, but after a few tries the whole process becomes familiar and you can do it in your sleep (millions have done this, including children). You will then have a permanent tool that you can use for a lifetime.

 

Remember our Discovery Statement?

“The cause of all negative emotions is a disruption in the body’s energy system.”

 

EFT Basic Recipe uses

It follows, then, that energy disruptions are the reason we have any kind of emotional issue like grief, anger, guilt, depression, trauma, and fear. Since both physical and performance issues often have emotional roots, it also follows that clearing energy disruptions can be useful for those as well.

Once we find those energy disruptions, we use the tapping process to correct them. The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe blends focused wording with a 9 point Tapping sequence. The focused wording tunes us in to the issue and this, in turn, points us to the energy disruptions (zzzzzts) that we need to address.

This wording is an essential part of the process because it tells our system what we are working on. Negative emotions come about because we are tuned into certain thoughts or circumstances which, in turn, cause our energy systems to disrupt. Otherwise, we function normally. One’s fear of heights is not present, for example, while one is reading the comic section of the Sunday newspaper (and therefore not tuned in to the problem).

Once tuned into the issue, the Tapping stimulates the energy pathways thereby balancing the resulting energy disruptions (zzzzzts). Also, for clarification, the points we use are at or near the end points of the energy pathways (meridians and vessels) … OR … at points along these pathways that are close to the body’s surface.

You may be aware that acupuncturists study and use over 300 meridian points on the body instead of the mere handful that are used by the EFT Tapping process. Further, unlike EFT, acupuncturists associate each of the energy pathways with body organs (kidney, stomach, spleen, etc.) and emotions (anger, fear, sadness, etc.). We are not denying the validity of this approach but we are ignoring it. EFT Tapping represents a different use of these pathways that allows someone with no formal training in Chinese medicine to realign disruptions on their own with a simple process.

You may learn the intricacies of the Chinese meridian system if you wish, but this knowledge is not necessary to generate first class results with EFT. In practice, the 12 meridians and 2 governing vessels are interconnected and thus sending balancing energy down one pathway influences other pathways. That is why we usually need to address only a few pathways to get the job done.

Before I demonstrate The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe on a video, let’s (1) take a look at the Tapping Points, (2) set the stage with some useful Tapping Tips and (3) review the 5 Steps in The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe.

The EFT Tapping Points

These illustrations, together with the written aids below them, are self-explanatory and are explored in detail later (including videos). For now, just locate each of these points on your own body and touch each of them with your fingertips.

 

 Written aids to locating the EFT Basic recipe Tapping Points

KC: The Karate Chop point (abbreviated KC) is located at the center of the fleshy part of the outside of your hand (either hand) between the top of the wrist and the base of the baby finger or….stated differently….the part of your hand you would use to deliver a karate chop.

TOH: On the top of the head. If you were to draw a line from one ear, over the head, to the other ear, and another line from your nose to the back of your neck, the TOH point is where those two lines would intersect.

EB: At the beginning of the eyebrow, just above and to one side of the nose. This point is abbreviated EB for beginning of the EyeBrow.

SE: On the bone bordering the outside corner of the eye. This point is abbreviated SE for Side of the Eye.

UE: On the bone under an eye about 1 inch below your pupil. This point is abbreviated UE for Under the Eye.

UN: On the small area between the bottom of your nose and the top of your upper lip. This point is abbreviated UN for Under the Nose.

Ch: Midway between the point of your chin and the bottom of your lower lip. Even though it is not directly on the point of the chin, we call it the chin point because it is descriptive enough for people to understand easily. This point is abbreviated Ch for Chin.

CB: The junction where the sternum (breastbone), collarbone and the first rib meet. To locate it, first place your forefinger on the U-shaped notch at the top of the breastbone (about where a man would knot his tie). From the bottom of the U, move your forefinger down toward the navel 1 inch and then go to the left (or right) 1 inch. This point is abbreviated CB for CollarBone even though it is not on the collarbone (or clavicle) per se. It is at the beginning of the collarbone and we call it the collarbone point because that is a lot easier to say than “the junction where the sternum (breastbone), collarbone and the first rib meet.”

UA: On the side of the body, at a point even with the nipple (for men) or in the middle of the bra strap (for women). It is about 4 inches below the armpit. This point is abbreviated UA for Under the Arm.

Tapping Tips

These tips answer the most common questions.

  • Some of the Tapping points have twin points on each side of the body. For example, the “eyebrow” point on the right side of the body has a twin point on the left side of the body. Years of experience have taught us that you only need to tap one of these twin points. However, if you have both hands free you can certainly tap on both sides for good measure. You will see me do this often in our Art of Delivery videos. as well as the numerous advanced videos in Gary’s Courses: Online Coaching Library.
  • You can also switch sides when you tap these points. For example, during the same round of The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe, you can tap the “karate chop” point on your left hand and the eyebrow point on the right side of your body. This makes the Tapping process more convenient to perform.
  • The Tapping is done with two or more fingertips. This is so you can cover a larger area and thereby insure that your Tapping covers the correct point.
  • While you can tap with the fingertips of either hand, most people use their dominant hand. For example, right handed people tap with the fingertips of their right hand while left handed people tap with the fingertips of their left hand.
  • You tap approximately 5 times on each point. No need to count the taps because anywhere between 3 and 7 taps on each point is adequate. The only exception is during the Setup step (explained later) where the Karate Chop Point is tapped continuously while you repeat some standard wording.
  • The process is easily memorized. After you have tapped the Karate Chop Point, the rest of the points go down the body (see the Sequence Points in the diagram above). The Eyebrow point, for example, is below the Top of the Head point. The Side of the Eye point is below the Eyebrow point. And so on down the body.

The 5 Steps of The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe

These simple steps are also given in the video below. For now, just familiarize yourself with the concepts. The video will walk you through this Tapping process so you can memorize it easily.

1.  Identify the Issue:

All you do here is make a mental note of what ails you. This becomes the target at which you “aim” the EFT Tapping Basic Recipe. Examples might be: Sore shoulder, my father embarrassing me at my age 8 birthday party or hitting that high singing note.  Be sure you are only targeting one issue at a time. As you will learn later, trying to combine issues in the process will compromise your results.

2.  Test the Initial Intensity:

Here you establish a before level of the issue’s intensity by assigning a number to it on a 0-10 scale where 10 is the worst the issue has ever been and 0 is no problem whatsoever. This serves as a benchmark so we can compare our progress after each round of The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe. If, for example, we start at an 8 and eventually reach a 4, then we know we have achieved a 50% improvement. The number of possible issues we can address with The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe is endless and they don’t all fit into neat testing boxes. That is why we have an entire segment later on dedicated to Testing Your EFT Tapping Work. For this stage of your learning, however, here are some useful methods to help you access your issue(s) and arrive at your 0-10 numbers. They apply to most issues.

  • For emotional issues, you can recreate the memories in your mind and assess their discomforts.
  • For physical ailments you can simply assess the existing pain or discomfort.
  • For performance issues you can attempt the desired performance level and measure how close you come to it.

3.  The Setup:

The Setup is a process we use to start each round of Tapping. By designing a simple phrase and saying it while continuously Tapping the KC point, you let your system know what you’re trying to address.

When designing this phrase there are two goals to achieve:

1)  acknowledge the problem
2)  accept yourself in spite of it

We do this by saying:

“Even though I have this _______________, I deeply and completely accept myself”.

The blank above represents the problem you want to address, so you can just insert things like:

This sore shoulder:
“Even though I have this sore shoulder, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

This fear of spiders:
“Even though I have this fear of spiders, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

This humiliation at my eighth grade graduation:
“Even though I have this humiliation at my eighth grade graduation, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

This difficulty making free throws:
“Even though I have this difficulty making free throws, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

 

Not all of the issues will fit neatly into “Even though I have this ____________,” so you can use some flexibility when designing your Setup phrase. For example, instead of “this sore shoulder” you could say “Even though my shoulder hurts, I deeply and completely accept myself”. Or instead of “this humiliation at my eighth grade graduation” you could say “Even though my dad humiliated me at my eighth grade graduation.”

By using “Even though I have this _______________,” you will automatically choose something that represents your experience, your reaction, or a problem that you recognize as something that belongs to you, and that is an important feature.

We do not want to use EFT on someone else’s problem. For example, rather than, “Even though my son is addicted to drugs, I deeply and completely accept myself,” it’s better to focus on your own reaction which might be, “Even though I’m frustrated by my son’s drug addiction.” Or instead of “Even though my husband works too much…,” better to try something like, “Even though I feel alone when my husband stays late at the office…” We want to aim EFT at our part of the problem rather than trying to fix someone else’s problem.

By identifying the problem with this phrase, you “set up” the initial zzzzzt behind the scenes so the Tapping has something to resolve.

Important, Important, Important:

The language that we use always aims at the negative. This is essential because it is the negative that creates the energy disruptions (zzzzzts) that The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe clears (and thus brings peace to the system). By contrast, conventional methods and popular self-help books stress positive thinking and preach avoiding the negative. This sounds good but, for our purposes, it does little more than cover over the negative with pleasant sounding words. EFT, on the other hand, needs to aim at the negative so it can be neutralized.  This allows our natural positives to bubble up to the top.

4. The Sequence:

This is the workhorse part of The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe that stimulates/balances the body’s energy pathways. To perform it, you tap each of the points shown in the Sequence Points diagram (see above) while saying a Reminder Phrase that keeps your system tuned into the issue. I list the points below followed by a description of the Reminder Phrase:

Top of the Head (TOH)
Beginning of the Eyebrow (EB)
Side of the Eye (SE)
Under the Eye (UE)
Under the Nose (UN)
Chin Point (CH)
Beginning of the Collarbone (CB)
Under the Arm (UA)

The Reminder Phrase is quite simple as you need only identify the issue with some brief wording. Depending on your issue, you might say the following at each tapping point….

“This sore shoulder”,
“My father embarrassed me”,
“This difficulty in singing that high note.”

5. Test the Intensity Again:

Finally, you establish an “after” level of the issue’s intensity by assigning a number to it on a 0-10 scale. You compare this with the before level to see how much progress you have made. If you are not down to zero then repeat the process until you either achieve zero or plateau at some level. You can also include some additional Tapping points that will be introduced in the next section of this article. Otherwise, you will likely need to “get to the roots of the issue” (see Intro to Part II of The Gold Standard EFT Tutorial).

Now follow along with this video as I demonstrate The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe live. It assumes you have familiarized yourself with the Tapping Points, Tapping Tips and the 5 Steps to the EFT Tapping Basic Recipe given above. Accordingly, you may want to review them again before proceeding with the video. (This video will not play linked from the website, but you can just click it and it will take you straight to the vimeo site where you can watch it.)

 

Test Drive:

Now let’s give The EFT Tapping Basic Recipe a test drive. Just pick an issue of your own and tap along with me in the next video. With a few practice rounds you will embed the process into your memory and will then be able to apply it to a wide variety of issues. Please remember, though, that you are still a beginner at this so you may or may not experience relief this first time. That’s OK. Our goal at this point is to acquaint you with the process. Results follow as you expand your use of it. There is much more to learn if you wish to pursue this Tutorial further (recommended). (This video will not play linked from the website, but you can just click it and it will take you straight to the vimeo site where you can watch it.)

 

Other Tapping Points and Routines

The standard EFT Tapping Basic Recipe points you learned above are the ones you will use over 90% of the time. In addition, there are some other points you may find useful under certain circumstances. If your initial rounds of the EFT Tapping Basic Recipe have not brought the intensity to zero, you can include any of these into your next Tapping round to see if they help. They are worth learning, even at this early stage, so I describe them next as well as in a video a few paragraphs below.

The Finger Points:

 EFT Basic Recipe Finger Points diagram

These are useful when you’d like to extend the EFT Tapping Basic Recipe and try a more thorough round on stubborn aspects. They also come in handy when any of the regular Tapping points are hard to reach or become irritating. They can be very effective on their own and I sometimes use them on our advanced videos in Gary’s Coaching Library instead of the standard points. Also note that you tap the facial and torso points with your fingertips and, in so doing, you also stimulate the finger points.

The Tapping point is in the same location for each finger and each thumb.  On the index finger (IF), tap on the side of the finger that is closest to the thumb, even with the base of the nail. Once you have located that one, you can find the similar MF (middle finger), BF (baby finger), and Th (thumb) points on each hand.

Just for simplicity, the Ring Finger has not been included in this sequence.  For those who may be curious, the meridian involved runs on the opposite side of that finger. I may occasionally include a point on the ring finger while I’m tapping because it’s easier than explaining why I leave it out. However, the EFT process and all of its power were built without this point and our results have not been affected by either including it or leaving it out.

The Below Nipple Point (often called the Liver Point):

EFT Tapping Liver Point diagram

You won’t see this one on our Art of Delivery videos or elsewhere in our materials. This is because it is socially awkward for women to tap. For the male, it is located one inch below the nipple. For the female it is where the underskin of the breast attaches to the chest wall. For some women the breast must be lifted so that the point can be tapped. I include it for completeness as you may find it useful under some circumstances. I use it on rare occasion. The diagram to the right shows the BN Point on both sides of the body. As mentioned earlier, you only need to tap one of them.

EFT Tapping Wrist Point diagram

The Wrist Point:

This point is also rarely used but I acquaint you with it because you may see it in our videos. It is located on the underside of the wrist at the mid-point of where a watch band would normally reside. Please refer to the diagram for clarification.

In general, it is most effective to tap this point with several fingertips, or you can hold your hand flat and gently slap the area on the inside of the wrist. There is a twin point on each wrist and sometimes these points are “tapped” by gently banging the inside of the wrists together.

The 9 Gamut Procedure:

Originally developed by Dr. Roger Callahan, the purpose of this nine step process is to engage both sides of the brain. This is accomplished by continuously tapping a particular point on the hand while performing specific eye movements, humming and counting. It can seem like a strange process, but through connecting nerves, certain parts of the brain are stimulated when the eyes are moved. Likewise the right side of the brain (the creative side) is engaged when you hum a song and the left side (the digital side) is engaged when you count.

The 9 Gamut Procedure was a standard feature in the Basic Recipe for many years, but is now optional, and I rarely use it. I’ve found it helpful when there is a clear brain disorder (e.g. Cerebral Palsy) and I will include it occasionally when progress seems to be halted.

It is very difficult to explain this procedure in words and pictures. It is easier to understand when you can see a demonstration, and you will find a video link for that purpose following the written explanation.

The 9 Gamut Procedure is a 10 second process wherein a gamut of 9 “brain stimulating” actions are performed while continuously tapping on one of the body’s energy points (the Gamut Point). To do the 9 Gamut Procedure, you must first locate the Gamut point.

Gamut Point:

EFT Tapping 9 gamut point diagram

To locate the Gamut Point, which is on the back of either hand, put a finger between the ring and little finger at the base. From this location, move your finger about a half inch toward your wrist and this is where you’ll tap the Gamut Point. Please see the illustration for clarity.

 9 Actions:

While facing forward and keeping your head still, tap the Gamut point continuously while performing the following nine actions:

  1. Eyes closed.
  2. Eyes open.
  3. Eyes hard down right while holding the head steady.
  4. Eyes hard down left while holding the head steady.
  5. Roll your eyes in a circle as though your nose was at the center of a clock and you were trying to see all the numbers in order.
  6. Same as the previous step, but roll your eyes the other direction.
  7. Hum 2 seconds of a song (any song will do, but I often use Happy Birthday).*
  8. Count rapidly from 1 to 5.
  9. Hum 2 seconds of a song again.

* For some people, humming Happy Birthday causes resistance because it brings up memories of unhappy birthdays. In this case, you can either use EFT on those unhappy memories and resolve them … or … you can side step this issue for now by humming some other song.

Now, in the interest of being thorough, here is a video where I demonstrate the Finger Points, Below the Nipple or BN Point (often called the Liver Point), Wrist Point and the 9 Gamut Procedure. The video assumes you have thoroughly familiarized yourself with the above descriptions.

 

Dream of Calendars- 2/24/14

Last night I was spiritually attacked after giving a very negative tarot reading to a person who, I found out later, had demonic spirits attached to her: an incubus and a vampire demon. Those are the only two I know of. I severed contact with her because of the attack.

I did a past, present and future reading for her. The past card was the Four of Pentacles which symbolizes someone who is selfish in every way; taking and never giving; perhaps hoarding something like wealth for fear that it will disappear or someone will take it; someone who hates and resents change; someone who only has one view of the world; someone who has cut themselves off from everyone due to their selfishness and someone who is in denial of the things right in front of them. The present card was Temperence, but it was inverted, suggesting of someone who is not in harmony with anything; who has no equilibrium; no moderation of extremes or self restraint; I got the feeling that this person’s personality was manic and all over the place. Her future card was the Two of Swords suggesting that in her near future, she would be in a weird lock step dance with those around her trying to find some grace, but never getting there. She would never compromise and would still be in denial and those around her would find her hard, stubborn and unyielding.

She told me that I was in no way right about this. That my whole reading of her had been wrong. By this time, I had begun to feel the first of the attack so I knew that I was right and that she was totally in denial just as the cards said that she would be. She got very angry with me so I severed contact with her and suffered through her attack for the rest of the night and into the next morning.

I tried to sleep, but only had dreams of calendars floating through space. I did some research on dreams of calendars and discovered that calendars in dreams can signify a date looming that you’d rather not think about; can mean that you are a very organized person; also can mean a gradual reduction of worries. Since I’m not very organized I guess I’m going to go with a looming date I’m not looking forward to and/or a gradual reduction of worries. I have been meaning to perform the binding spell again since the last full moon, but haven’t done it. I had to get supplies and then I bought a black onyx and a rainbow moonstone ring so those had to be cleansed for 72 hours in the freezer so….I don’t know why I’m procrastinating. I should be on top of this so that the stalker will not move against me.