Tarot of the Day: Discussion of the Five of Pentacles and a Bit on Grief

five of pentacles

From my personal diary:

A woman sits with her body curled in on itself and her head rests on her knee. Her face is not visible. She is surrounded by a transparent gray-ish bubble. Directly over her head, and inside the bubble, is a pentacle inside its own bubble.

She sits on the higher of two pedestals. Directly below her grow green and flowering vines which have penetrated her bubble. Directly in front of her, only inches from her outstretched arm, is a colorful butterfly inside its own bubble as well. On the pedestal below her (she sits on the higher one) is a chameleon looking at her as if he/she is expecting something.

The backdrop is a mottled and veiny gray wall. Coming directly from the top of the bubble which surrounds the woman, is a crack in the wall which is basically straight.  There is one wobbly part (almost as if it wasn’t sure of itself), but then it continues on straight to the top of the card. I also find it interesting that the crack in he wall comes directly out of the bubble that surrounds the woman. As if, in creating this bubble for herself, the energies she has created have affected the wall itself and caused it to crack.

To the left of the crack int he wall and in the top left corner we see a brightly colored and intricately designed stained glass window or painting. It is in the form of a circle with four pentacles inside and the pentacles themselves are inside their own circles. The colors inside the window or painting are basically green, purple, lavender, yellow, gold, white and gray. At the bottom of this circle, in the midst of a slash of bright yellow is a red heart, which is interestingly almost the same color as the butterfly

It seems to me that the main themes of this card are pentacles and circles. I know that when I get ready to cast a spell, I cast a circle to protect myself and I know also that the pentacles inside of a circle is a powerful symbol of protection as well. However, this is juxtaposed with the figure of the lone woman curled in on herself and since we cannot see her face, we have to assume that she also can’t see what is around her. However, the vines that are growing up from the Earth have penetrated her bubble and seem to be either touching her or moving into her. I can only think that this is the Goddess (higher power, Oneness…) attempting to ground her as she may be confused about something.

The woman seems very alone within her bubble. Almost as if she has protected herself so much and so well that she has pushed every other thing away. I know that within the Tarot, the sign of the Pentacle represents money or work. So, she has either lost money or lost work. Either way it’s a financial hardship and she has isolated herself within her bubble in her grief and sadness. She also could be experiencing emotional loss of something he has worked for.

The butterfly that hovers within its own bubble just out of her reach seems to symbolize beauty, hope, change, and/or metamorphosis. She would only have to lift her head a fraction of an inch to see it and reach out with the smallest of movements to pop the bubble surrounding the butterfly, thereby accessing its power for metamorphosis. However, at this point, she seems to be immobilized in her sadness.

I can’t help but think that if she would only move that the bubbles around her would pop and she could let in whatever pain or loss she has protected herself from. She seems to be stuck in a position where she feels sadness and/or grief, but is not letting it in wholly. It seems that if she did let it all the way in, she could finally deal with it and look up to see the beauty and hope around her. She could see that her heart is not in fact cracked in two, but whole, as is shown in the circle in the top left corner of the card.

I also think that the abundance of pentacles in the top left corner circle represent future work and financial successes if she could only come out of her bubble and recognize her own potential. This is a woman who has isolated herself with sadness and possibly self-esteem issues regarding her potential for success. She has experienced hardship and rejection and has decided that even though she is miserable that it is safer inside her bubble that outside of it. The problem with this, however, is that there is so much beauty and hope within inches of her reach if she would only move. If she would just move.

If anyone has anything else to add to this discussion, I would be more than happy to read it.

On a personal note, I pulled this card for myself yesterday when I was feeling particularly sad ( I deal with chronic depression.) and I was missing my mother terribly who died this past October suddenly of several heart attacks. It’s weird to contemplate that at my age and now with a child of my own, that I have no parents. I’m an adult orphan. It’s a weird concept to consider. I am feeling very alone at this time since I am in a new town and have yet to make any real friends. This is partly my fault since I tend to isolate myself and I have some health issues that prevent me from doing everything I would like to do socially. I am like the woman in the bubble who can’t see the beauty and hope for change beyond her own immediate surroundings. If I can only just move outside myself. I keep telling myself that. Just move. Just look around you. Let down your walls and experience life. It’s painful sometimes, but sometimes it’s joyful and hopeful. This is the thought I cling to.

I am also discovering that the grief I am experiencing from the death of my mother isn’t something that I can ever “get over” or “move through”. It has changed me irrevocably. I have to wake up each day with my first thought being, “I need to call my mom,” and then thinking to myself, “Shit, I can’t call her. She’s dead.” I found this floating around on the internet and it helped me so I thought I would share it with you all in the hopes that it may help someone else as well.

death is nothing at all

This was written by  Henry Scott Holland (27 January 1847 – 17 March 1918) was Regius Professor of Divinity at the University of Oxford.

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The Witches’ Power Tarot Spread

witches brew tarot reading layout

The Enchanted Lantern

To all of my readers, I apologize for being gone for these last six months. I moved four hours away from where I had previously been in order to take care of my elderly mother, who just passed into the light on October 18th at 11:22am. She was 74 years old. I’m still arranging for her funeral so I’m trying to post a little something here each day or so that may help someone. This is the purpose of this blog, after all, to present powerful prayers and spells for free so that those who want to help themselves can do so without having to pay any money for it.

After I get over the initial shock of my mother’s death and funeral, I intend to post a lot more here about various things and hopefully will be able to upgrade my account. Until then, my lovely readers, may the Creator bless you.

Blessed Be,

Myrelle

Simple Blessing Spell and Drawing a Line in the Spiritual Sand

~Three Times Blessed~

Be blessed.

Be blessed.

Be truly blessed.

By these triple words.

By this triple touch.

Be blessed by the Goddess.

By growth.

By fulness

By the dark and by the light.

By Maiden, Mother and Crone.

Be blessed.

Be blessed.

Be three times blessed.

By the threefold Goddess be blessed.

 

I used this recently. Let me recount why. I have recently renewed a friendship from high school so we have been texting and talking on the phone quite a bit lately. In one of our conversations, she confided to me that her sister’s husband had touched all three of her girls sexually. He was trying to rape them, but they are all such strong girls that they knew what he was doing was wrong and shoved him off. Then they told their parents. Not surprisingly, their dad wanted to take the man out into the bayou and feed him to the alligators. Their mother, my friend, even though she is very protective of her children, forgave him when they had a conversation about it. She knows that pedophilia is a sickness of the mind and spirit so she was willing to forgive him, but made it very clear that he was NOT to do it again. Well, that same night, he tried again. He is now no longer welcome around them and he never comes around. Honestly, I was very surprised that they didn’t press charges and I told her as much. She told me that since her daughters were so young at the time that she didn’t want them to have to go through the pain of a trial and having to recount their experiences over and over ad nauseum. While I can understand that, I told her that someday he would go on to molest other girls and that he probably had a long list of girls he has already molested and who’s mother’s felt exactly the same way she did about their children and that is why he was out and able to abuse hers.

Since I am living in a house that she and her husband own and her family lives in the same town I do, I asked her how likely I was to get a visit from her sister’s husband. She responded that they actually live a couple of hours away and don’t come here normally unless there is a special occasion. Well, I got a visit last week from this sister who brought along her daughter who is about the same age as my daughter. My first thought was, “Oh God, he has probably already gotten to her.” As a survivor of sexual abuse, I am aware that I have a knee-jerk reaction to any hint of sexual abuse so I tried to reign that in. During the time they were here, I watched her and knew fairly quickly that she was at least partially autistic. She tip-toe walks; she can’t sit still for more than a few minutes at a time; she doesn’t speak much; and has absolutely no impulse control. I realize that she’s only three and impulse control is somewhat touch and go at that age, but what I’m talking about is that she came in my house and literally dragged nearly everything I have out from every single room. I couldn’t sit down to talk with her mother for more than five minutes at a time for having to follow her around and pick up after her or keep her from hurting herself. Her mother didn’t seem to have a problem with any of this. She looked at me like she pitied me.

At one point during their time here, I had settled the two girls in my bedroom on my bed watching a Disney animated movie. My daughter suddenly comes out and says, “Mommy, A— is naked.” I went into my bedroom to find her nude except for her shirt laying on my bed. When I asked her why she said she was “ready to take a nap”. This really disturbed me not only because it seemed so normal for her to do, but also because her mother seemed yet again to have absolutely no problem with this behavior. Again, I realize she’s only three and that three year olds love to be naked. My daughter does, but for her to JUST take off her shorts and panties and get in my bed like it was a matter of course worried me. I was going to speak with her mother about it, but I didn’t have time. Right after this incident, her mother packed her up and left.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I didn’t have any proof, but my gut instinct was telling me that that little girl was living a miserable life. Not only is she ONLY three years old AND autistic, but her father was most likely molesting her already at such a tender age. My mind went down a very long list of possible mental disorders (thank you Abnormal Psych) and my heart ached because I knew that the love she felt was twisted and warped. The next day, with a swollen face and still thinking about the incident, I prayed and prayed about it. Then a cried some more. This time not because I was sad, but because I was angry. I was angry with her dad first for what I was thinking he had done to her and secondly, I was angry with her mother for seemingly being the enabler.

I searched online to find a spell to bless and protect her. I found this one and some others that I liked among which I really like this one which draws a very strong line in the spiritual sand saying “if you do thusandsuch this will happen”. Also, it has a “bounce back” feature that I like so that in case he does more harm to her it will come back to him in spades. I will post it here for y’all just in case someone feels the need to use it. The last three sentences I changed to fit my own situation. The original one had the f-bomb in it, which I don’t like to use in spells.

Warning Spell

Blood turn black and flesh turn blue.

I will curse you if you force me to.

By the left hand and the unclean food.

I will curse your lies.

I will call down a plague of flies.

Blood go black and flesh go blue.

Evil from A— and back to you.

Her soul clean and yours on fire.

You touch her and you will get burned, liar.

 

I normally don’t advocate using spells like this since it is rather dark and threatens a curse, but in cases like this where the perpetrator is unrepentant, I feel that justice needs to be served. I recommend doing this in the middle of a salt circle or cast a circle and a pentacle with your wand/finger. This is what I did. I don’t have an actual wand, so I cast the circle and pentagram with my finger and visualized them strongly so that I could see them before my physical eyes. After that I focused all of my anger, rage and hurt into the words of the spell and thought about A—-‘s father and herself. Basically, I put all my energy and emotion into it, which is necessary for any spell to be effective. I also visualized a white translucent light around A— to protect her and a thick, golden, braided rope coming from her crown chakra up to the heavens to connect her with The Source and then I visualized thick tree roots coming from her feet and growing way down into the earth and wrapping themselves around the center of it to ground her. I have also added her to my daily prayers right after I pray for myself and my own daughter.

I thought about reporting this to DHS, but I have no actual proof of wrongdoing and I am living in a house that belongs to my friend who is her sister. I don’t know how she would take it if I reported him to DHS. I don’t plan on being her long so the first thing I do when I move will be to call and at least report him so that the paperwork will be on his record.

Daily Card Draw : Six of Wands

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The suit of Wands is associated with the element of fire. The first thing I felt when I drew this card and saw that it was inverted was that my inner fire may be burning low today. Otherwise, this card speaks of someone who is over confident because they have conquered many people and difficult situations to get where they are. It speaks of victory and confidence in skills and abilities, but also speaks of a warning to avoid the hubris and lassitude that may come from sitting on top of the mountain.

Since my card is inverted, it is telling me that I don’t feel confident in my skills and abilities today. It is speaking to me of feeling like I will never be able to get to the top of the mountain. It is speaking of frustration.

I am frustrated in my role as a parent. My daughter is two and has the requisite tantrums which accompany two year olds. She screams, hits, sometimes bites, calls me names…the whole nine. At these times, I feel woefully ill equipped to deal with her. I am mainly an over indulgent parent and I’m very demonstrative with my affections. I hug and kiss her a lot and carry her around. She sits in my lap most times when we are at home. It’s when I stop being over indulgent and am firm on the boundaries that the tantrums come. I don’t know whether to just let her have her screaming fit or to try to intervene at that point. I definitely don’t want to spank her or use any other kind of physical intervention. I’ve tried “time out”, but that doesn’t work very well. She won’t stay where she’s supposed to. I’ve tried reasoning with her and explaining cause and consequence in a way hopefully that she can understand, but it doesn’t seem to stick in her brain. The next time I tell her that it’s bedtime or that she can’t jump on the bed because she will fall off, the tantrum will be inevitable. It leaves me feeling emasculated, feeling like a bad person and a bad mother, and feeling guilty for being so under equipped to deal with her at those moments. What I mainly do during these moments is pray silently for patience and that I can be enabled to be kind towards her no matter what her actions towards me may be.  I cannot express how much I love her and I always want her to know that she is my treasure and my aim is to always treat her as such.

Daily Card Draw: Ten of Wands

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This card is the Ten of Wands and features a Dryad (a tree spirit) holding up the weight of a small village. She doesn’t have to, yet she supports them of her own free will. She does it willingly. Her wands are burning low and she may be looking for that source of strength and light which will get her through the present darkness. She is struggling to find that center of creativity and nourishment and feels overwhelmed at times.

I am waiting to hear about whether or not a company I interviewed with last week will hire me. It would be a very good job and would mean a big move. I think it would be a great change for us. So, I’m worried about that and sort of wandering in darkness until I hear one way or the other. I am groping around trying to find some way to keep myself positive while I wait in this frozen-ness.

I will try aligning my chakras today and doing some mediation and visualization to keep my positive energies going. Yesterday, I smudged my entire apartment and noticed a difference in the atmosphere around me immediately. It seemed that even the wood in the walls relaxed. The light coming in through the windows seemed to get softer and yet brighter simultaneously. Finally, and this is the most important thing, my daughter stopped being so fearful of every shadow she saw.

Love and Light ya’ll!