Black Moon

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Tarot Card of the Day-Judgement

judgement

UPRIGHT JUDGEMENT TAROT CARD MEANINGS

The Judgement card calls for a period of reflection and self-evaluation. Through meditation or quiet reflection, you may come to a point of deep understanding about the common themes throughout your life and what you can do or change to avoid these situations in the future. Judgement tells you that you are close to reaching a significant stage in your own journey.

The Judgement card suggests that you have had a recent epiphany or an ‘awakening’ where you have come to a realisation that you need to live your life in a different way and you need to be true to yourself and your needs. You have opened yourself up to a new possibility – to lead a fulfilling life that serves your higher needs and that offers inspiration and hope to others. You feel as though you have had a ‘calling’ in life, and you are getting much closer to the point where you need to take action. Something that was lying dormant within you, some unconscious knowledge or truth is finally being awakened and brought into the light.

With its theme of awakening to new life, the Judgement card suggests that you have reviewed and evaluated your past experiences and have learned from them. All the pieces of the puzzle of your life are finally coming together to form one, integrated picture of your life story. This integration has healed any deep wounds and you are now in a position to put the past behind you. Your memories no longer haunt you, and you are able to understand and value what has happened to you and what it has taught you about life. Now, you are ready to confront any unfinished business in your life, clear up any misunderstandings and view the future with peace and deep ‘knowingness’ in your heart.

Judgement is about finding absolution. Through a period of self-evaluation, you will feel cleansed of your ‘sins’, wrongdoings and mistakes, and you will finally be released of your guilt and sorrow about the past. This represents a wonderful purging process and will leave you feeling refreshed and ready to take on any new challenges.

The Judgement card often indicates that life-changing decisions are required but unlike those associated with the logical Justice card, these decisions require a delicate blend of intuition and intellect. You may be at a crossroads, aware that any decision that you make will bring about significant change. The choice can be an obvious one, or perhaps the only viable one. You know that this choice must be made and you are facing it with maturity and level-headedness. Your own judgement is impeccable at this time; you can trust it completely and know that you are on the right path. If you still require clarity on the situation, look to your past experiences and life lessons which will guide you on the right path.

If you have endured challenges in recent times, then the Judgement card suggests that you may have some respite from these challenges. In fact, you may find comfort in sharing your experiences with others and healing within a group environment. The key here is that there will be others who have experienced something similar to you and who can show you the way to freedom from your troubles. Let them guide you and help you.

Biddy Tarot

Tarot Card of the Day~Eight of Cups Reversed

eight-of-cups

The reversed Eight of Cups suggests that you may be feeling confused about where your best options lie. Part of you wants to explore new horizons and possibilities but another part of your fears that in doing so, you will miss out on what your current circumstances have to offer.

The Eight of Cups reversed also represents knowing when to walk away from a situation that is ultimately not working for you. Even though there are some fundamental issues that have not been resolved, you know that no matter how hard you try these will probably never be resolved. It hurts you to have to walk away with this lack of closure but you know this is what is needed right now. Sometimes, however, there may be a lack of commitment to walking away, whereby one day you are ready to leave and by the next day you are having doubts and wanting to stay.

The reversed Eight of Cups can reflect hopeless, aimless drifting from one place to the next by someone who cannot stand to be confined to just one setting or someone who never quite fits in. You may fear intimacy and have difficulty making and keeping your commitments. When things become too difficult, you quickly escape and leave behind your troubles, rather than dealing with them head on.

Biddy Tarot

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This is my actual Tarot layout for today. I just did four cards because I’m too tired to go into anything more complicated, but I think it tells me a lot about where I am right now.

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The eight of cups reversed crossed with the six of cups suggesting that I’m adrift and unsure of which direction I could take or that I’m contemplating or actually running from my responsibilities. I think I feel like it’s more that I’m adrift right now. I’ve left something behind that I regret as well, but I knew it was the best thing for me. The six of cups crossed over the eight of cups suggests that I’ve forgotten to take care of my inner child or that I’ve forgotten what makes me really happy or that I’ve forgotten what is really important to me.

The next two cards, however represent a more positive near future. The nine of pentacles suggests that in the near future I will get to relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor. It suggests that my self confidence and self assurance will return. It also suggests that I will be in harmony with nature and know how to bring that into my life to benefit my higher self. The next card, the King of Cups suggests that in the near future, I will be more in control of my emotions, which echoes the previous card in the way that it suggests that my self confidence and assurance will return to me. It’s not that I won’t feel my emotions, but that I will be more in control of them, which is a good thing. I hate to be on an emotional rollercoaster. It suggests that I will have a deeper understanding of my feelings and motivations. One of the things the king of cups represents is compassion, which I feel has been intermittent with me for awhile simply because I’m so focused on my chronic pain and trying to figure out how to deal with it. Maybe this card suggests that I will be able to use my experience to help others in similar situations?

While I do feel adrift right now (there is a retrograde happening right now which does tend to make one feel adrift or out of balance), the cards tell me that my near future is very positive and that I will get some emotional healing and restored compassion, self-assurance and confidence. This is good. I’m looking forward to it.

Tarot Card of the Day

Five of Pentacles (reversed)

five of pentacles

REVERSED FIVE OF PENTACLES TAROT CARD MEANINGS

The Five of Pentacles reversed indicates an end to difficult times, particularly if you have recently suffered a major financial loss or job loss. You may find new sources of income, a new job, or someone has offered to help you out while you get back on your feet. You may be starting to feel as if life is worth living again and starting to regain your self-confidence. Finally you can see a way out of your financial difficulties and your hope is being renewed.

The reversed Five of Pentacles can sometimes indicate the persistence of inner, spiritual poverty. It reflects a time when you feel isolated and alone, even if surrounded by many people. You may feel as though something is just completely out of place and you are struggling to place your finger on what it is. Return to the Four of Pentacles and you may come to realize that you have placed too much emphasis on your material wealth and have neglected your spiritual well-being.

Biddy Tarot

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For the past year, I’ve been mourning the sudden and unexpected death of my mother. I moved to where she lived a year and a half ago, which was four hours away from where I previously lived, so that I could take care of her. During the last six months of her life, we became best friends. Her death hit me really hard. I’ve been feeling lost and unable to make connections here in this new place where I live. Also, since I have the beliefs that I do, and this is a small and conservative mainly Christian town, it’s been next to impossible for me to find like minded individuals. It’s not that I require my friends to believe the exact way that I do, but some open-mindedness would be nice.

I started seriously meditating in 2012 with a guided meditation by Lillian Eden meant to help people connect to their spirit guide/s. I still use that almost every day. It helps me relax and align my chakras, for one, and for two, it helps me connect with Source energy. I’ve yet to meet my spirit guide/s, that I know of. I do remember one night recently where I was in that semi-awake/semi-sleep state and kept hearing a voice saying, “I’m waiting,”. It was said in a plaintive way like the entity had been waiting for me for a long time. This card today, gives me hope that I might be able to move forward now and actually communicate with my spirit guide/s.

I stopped taking Prozac about three weeks ago which had been prescribed for me by my Psychiatrist. I actually feel less depressed now than I did while I was taking it, which is an amazing feeling. I just got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and it was thought that the Prozac would help with the pain and the depression that comes along with the pain. Unfortunately it didn’t really help. I’m feeling much more positive now even though I’m still dealing with daily pain. I’m also thinking about getting back into Yoga, which helps with pain and with lifting the mood and would also tie in with my daily meditations. In general, I’m feeling more productive even though I still can’t do much compared to other people. It’s still more than what I was doing, which is a positive.

This card gives me hope that things really are on the upswing. I’ve been sad and hopeless and/or angry nearly every day for the past year and now I feel that I may be coming out of it. It feels like coming up from nearly drowning. As an extra, I’m going to include the link to the tarot reading by the wonderful Astrid from the Spiritual Alchemy channel on You Tube. The reading is for Taurus (which I am), but there are other readings for all other signs there and she does all of them monthly. Also, there is a lot more great information to be absorbed on her channel. I just love her.

September Taurus Love/Career Tarot Reading by Astrid

Lastly, but not leastly, I want to thank everyone who chose to follow my blog. I apologize for my long absence and hope that you all will continue to read and enjoy what I post. If I can help someone in any way I can be reached at this email: mysticmyrelle@gmail.com.

Blessed Be.

Tarot Card of the Day: Two of Swords (Time To Make a Decision)

two of swords

From my personal diary:

In this card we see a woman standing in a green robe with her hood over her head so that we son’t see much of her face. She holds two swords crossed in front of her. The two swords are identical showing that she has  a balanced mind. She faces a white swan who sits high above her in a very twisty tree. Directly in front of the swan, hanging from the tree branch, is a red heart hanging from a piece of red thread. It seems as though either the swan is offering her heart to the woman or that that is the woman’s heart hanging from the tree and she must get past the swan to retrieve it.

There is another white swan close behind the woman. It is standing on the ground with its face upturned to her and seems to be offering her a flower, but because her back is turned, she doesn’t see this offering. It could be a willful turning away or simply something she does not notice because her attention is focused on what is in front of her.

This woman has a decision to make, but she is currently at an impasse, She either doesn’t want to make the decision, in which case she would be in denial. On the other hand, it could be because she can’t see what is behind her, she may not have all the information she needs to make her decision. The swords represent that her decision must be made using her logic and intellect rather than her intuition and emotion.

At the top of the card, there is a waxing moon (not waning) showing that whatever decision she makes will form a new beginning for her. There is a need for a truce here so that a decision can be made logically and intellectually. This woman needs to realize that she cannot avoid a situation by not making a decision one way or the other. She may be in denial of her emotions about this situation and although this calls for logic and her intellectual gifts,s he would be wise to unblock her emotions and thereby come out of her denial. The Goddess is all around her represented by the two swans, the twisted tree which is flowering and the new moon above, but she cannot see all of this because all of her attention is focused on the stalemate at hand.

The stalemate or impasse may also be her attempt to protect her self from some unknown factor. She needs more information in order to dig deeper so that she can make her decision to find out the truth of the situation. However, this will require a temporary lowering of her swords to do that.

Tarot of the Day: Discussion of the Five of Pentacles and a Bit on Grief

five of pentacles

From my personal diary:

A woman sits with her body curled in on itself and her head rests on her knee. Her face is not visible. She is surrounded by a transparent gray-ish bubble. Directly over her head, and inside the bubble, is a pentacle inside its own bubble.

She sits on the higher of two pedestals. Directly below her grow green and flowering vines which have penetrated her bubble. Directly in front of her, only inches from her outstretched arm, is a colorful butterfly inside its own bubble as well. On the pedestal below her (she sits on the higher one) is a chameleon looking at her as if he/she is expecting something.

The backdrop is a mottled and veiny gray wall. Coming directly from the top of the bubble which surrounds the woman, is a crack in the wall which is basically straight.  There is one wobbly part (almost as if it wasn’t sure of itself), but then it continues on straight to the top of the card. I also find it interesting that the crack in he wall comes directly out of the bubble that surrounds the woman. As if, in creating this bubble for herself, the energies she has created have affected the wall itself and caused it to crack.

To the left of the crack int he wall and in the top left corner we see a brightly colored and intricately designed stained glass window or painting. It is in the form of a circle with four pentacles inside and the pentacles themselves are inside their own circles. The colors inside the window or painting are basically green, purple, lavender, yellow, gold, white and gray. At the bottom of this circle, in the midst of a slash of bright yellow is a red heart, which is interestingly almost the same color as the butterfly

It seems to me that the main themes of this card are pentacles and circles. I know that when I get ready to cast a spell, I cast a circle to protect myself and I know also that the pentacles inside of a circle is a powerful symbol of protection as well. However, this is juxtaposed with the figure of the lone woman curled in on herself and since we cannot see her face, we have to assume that she also can’t see what is around her. However, the vines that are growing up from the Earth have penetrated her bubble and seem to be either touching her or moving into her. I can only think that this is the Goddess (higher power, Oneness…) attempting to ground her as she may be confused about something.

The woman seems very alone within her bubble. Almost as if she has protected herself so much and so well that she has pushed every other thing away. I know that within the Tarot, the sign of the Pentacle represents money or work. So, she has either lost money or lost work. Either way it’s a financial hardship and she has isolated herself within her bubble in her grief and sadness. She also could be experiencing emotional loss of something he has worked for.

The butterfly that hovers within its own bubble just out of her reach seems to symbolize beauty, hope, change, and/or metamorphosis. She would only have to lift her head a fraction of an inch to see it and reach out with the smallest of movements to pop the bubble surrounding the butterfly, thereby accessing its power for metamorphosis. However, at this point, she seems to be immobilized in her sadness.

I can’t help but think that if she would only move that the bubbles around her would pop and she could let in whatever pain or loss she has protected herself from. She seems to be stuck in a position where she feels sadness and/or grief, but is not letting it in wholly. It seems that if she did let it all the way in, she could finally deal with it and look up to see the beauty and hope around her. She could see that her heart is not in fact cracked in two, but whole, as is shown in the circle in the top left corner of the card.

I also think that the abundance of pentacles in the top left corner circle represent future work and financial successes if she could only come out of her bubble and recognize her own potential. This is a woman who has isolated herself with sadness and possibly self-esteem issues regarding her potential for success. She has experienced hardship and rejection and has decided that even though she is miserable that it is safer inside her bubble that outside of it. The problem with this, however, is that there is so much beauty and hope within inches of her reach if she would only move. If she would just move.

If anyone has anything else to add to this discussion, I would be more than happy to read it.

On a personal note, I pulled this card for myself yesterday when I was feeling particularly sad ( I deal with chronic depression.) and I was missing my mother terribly who died this past October suddenly of several heart attacks. It’s weird to contemplate that at my age and now with a child of my own, that I have no parents. I’m an adult orphan. It’s a weird concept to consider. I am feeling very alone at this time since I am in a new town and have yet to make any real friends. This is partly my fault since I tend to isolate myself and I have some health issues that prevent me from doing everything I would like to do socially. I am like the woman in the bubble who can’t see the beauty and hope for change beyond her own immediate surroundings. If I can only just move outside myself. I keep telling myself that. Just move. Just look around you. Let down your walls and experience life. It’s painful sometimes, but sometimes it’s joyful and hopeful. This is the thought I cling to.

I am also discovering that the grief I am experiencing from the death of my mother isn’t something that I can ever “get over” or “move through”. It has changed me irrevocably. I have to wake up each day with my first thought being, “I need to call my mom,” and then thinking to myself, “Shit, I can’t call her. She’s dead.” I found this floating around on the internet and it helped me so I thought I would share it with you all in the hopes that it may help someone else as well.

death is nothing at all

This was written by  Henry Scott Holland (27 January 1847 – 17 March 1918) was Regius Professor of Divinity at the University of Oxford.

In The Hole of My Grief

I’m still overwhelmed with grief at the passing of my mother. I feel like my days are just melting one into another. The only thing that gets me out of bed is my daughter. She needs me and I need and want to take care of her. I can’t say, however, that I’ve been in the best of moods lately. My emotions are all over the place. I’m so frustrated and angry and sad. Sometimes, out of the blue, my 4-year-old will ask me, “Mommy, are you still sad that Nana died?” I have to say “Yes” sometimes and other times I will say, “I’m still a little sad,” and then I will ask her, “Are you still sad that Nana died?”. She will invariably say, “No”. The last time she said this, I asked her why and she said, “Because Nana is in a better place. Her heart isn’t cracked anymore and she can run and play any time she wants to.” From the mouths of babes. I learn so much from her. I am so grateful that the Creator blessed me with her. I don’t always show my gratefulness through my actions, but in my heart, there is no one else in the world whom I love more than my daughter. At Thanksgiving and Christmas, I see many people saying what they are thankful for. Well, here’s my small list:

  1. My amazing daughter
  2. House to live in
  3. Money to pay rent
  4. Food to eat
  5. Car to drive
  6. My mom is with her Creator and is in no more pain and will have no more sadness ever.
  7. Heat in my house for when it gets cold
  8. Air conditioning for when it gets hot
  9. Electricity and the money to pay the bill
  10. Running water and the money to pay that bill

This is what I’m not thankful for: The pain and large hole in my life that my mother left when she died. On a purely intellectual level, I realize that grief is somewhat selfish. I mean, my mom is in a better place. Her life really didn’t end. Her physical body just gave out and her spirit went somewhere else where she can be totally fulfilled in a way that as a spirit trapped in my physical body I will never understand until I reach that point. Not that I wish for death or anything. I just realize that maybe I should be focusing more on the positive side of her death than the negative outcome it presents for me.

This is my tarot card for the day: The Knight of Cups

knight of cups

I’m not sure what this means for me. Does it mean that I will rise up above the waters of my grief to ride the waves and not drown (like I’m feeling now?). Does it mean that someone will come into my life who will pull me out of my grief and sadness and show me what it means to be happy and adventurous again? These court cards can sometimes represent an actual person, so I’m wondering if it does represent a person, who that person could be and if I already know them.

The Unicorn is a child of the sea – born of foam and restless waves, surging with the wild abandon of the surf. The Knight of Cups is her companion on the eternal quest.

He is the knight of the Round Table on the grand quest for the Grail. He is the romantic who seeks where his heart and emotions lead. He is the artist and the musician and the poet whose eyes see into the unseen nether-realms of imagination. He is the idealist who will not let physical laws stop him from riding with reckless abandon across the wave tops on his journey.

Daily Card Draw : Six of Wands

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The suit of Wands is associated with the element of fire. The first thing I felt when I drew this card and saw that it was inverted was that my inner fire may be burning low today. Otherwise, this card speaks of someone who is over confident because they have conquered many people and difficult situations to get where they are. It speaks of victory and confidence in skills and abilities, but also speaks of a warning to avoid the hubris and lassitude that may come from sitting on top of the mountain.

Since my card is inverted, it is telling me that I don’t feel confident in my skills and abilities today. It is speaking to me of feeling like I will never be able to get to the top of the mountain. It is speaking of frustration.

I am frustrated in my role as a parent. My daughter is two and has the requisite tantrums which accompany two year olds. She screams, hits, sometimes bites, calls me names…the whole nine. At these times, I feel woefully ill equipped to deal with her. I am mainly an over indulgent parent and I’m very demonstrative with my affections. I hug and kiss her a lot and carry her around. She sits in my lap most times when we are at home. It’s when I stop being over indulgent and am firm on the boundaries that the tantrums come. I don’t know whether to just let her have her screaming fit or to try to intervene at that point. I definitely don’t want to spank her or use any other kind of physical intervention. I’ve tried “time out”, but that doesn’t work very well. She won’t stay where she’s supposed to. I’ve tried reasoning with her and explaining cause and consequence in a way hopefully that she can understand, but it doesn’t seem to stick in her brain. The next time I tell her that it’s bedtime or that she can’t jump on the bed because she will fall off, the tantrum will be inevitable. It leaves me feeling emasculated, feeling like a bad person and a bad mother, and feeling guilty for being so under equipped to deal with her at those moments. What I mainly do during these moments is pray silently for patience and that I can be enabled to be kind towards her no matter what her actions towards me may be.  I cannot express how much I love her and I always want her to know that she is my treasure and my aim is to always treat her as such.

Daily Card Draw: Seven of Pentacles

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This is the second time I’ve drawn this card since I started doing this last month. The suit of Pentacles symbolizes work and all the things we do while working. I feel like I am always working to accomplish something. I am really wanting to make a good life for my daughter and myself and to that end, I feel that if I’m not working at something then I’m failing. That’s when I get anxious and depressed. I feel the best when I know that I’m working toward something positive or an attainable goal.

This particular card is about having sown the seeds of success and deciding whether or not to reap them right now. It is about rewards for hard work. It is also about contemplating life and different choices and approaches to it.